My main character Jim has been a lot stubborn lately. I mean he’s not doing anything! It’s so annoying when he doesn’t listen to me.
So today I decided that was it. I don’t like to sit here and wait for him to do stuff.
I’m just gonna go there and make him do things. Stupid things. You know because I want to write a comedy.
I went to his house and to my horror Jim was sleeping on his bed, with his laptop on his chest and watching garbage reality shows eating potato chips. Well aren’t you a major slob Jim?
Get up I shouted.
Why! Why? You’re asking me why? I’ll tell you why, I’m sitting here in front of my desk begging you to do something, anything to get my story going but you’re just here eating chips? And what is that garbage you’re watching?
Whaat! I’m watching Cake boss.
I don’t fucking care! Get up and do something.
Oh my God, you’re killing me.
Yeah I should have. In the 3rd chapter when I had the chance but we’re in too deep. I can’t kill you now. Come on! Get up you ass!
He got up and the crumpled chips rained down on the carpet.
We stood there facing each other. Me, crossing my arms across my chest and he, well he stood there with his hands on his hips. It got awkward after like 3 minutes.
I turned away, and took few steps towards his door, come on! I shouted.
Dear Lord. What is your problem woman?
I took a deep breath My problem Jim, is I’m in a writers block right now. And it’s been 15 days and I didn’t write shit and even if I did write, well, they’re shit. So please do something interesting. Anything. Go out meet new people strike up a conversation but make it comical. You know say some silly things… it would be better if you take your dog with you, go to the park maybe….
Whoa whoa whoooooa.. Hold on.. It’s hard to process all this BS. Go out? Park? Really? Are you listening to yourself. Man, no wonder everything you write is a load of bull crap.
Ugh, well what do you want me to do? Huh?
Why don’t you go out? To the park maybe? Take your dog…
I… I don’t have a dog.
Well what do you have? He asked searching for something under his couch
I don’t have any pet.
Really? Man I didn’t even know that! I guessed if I had one you would too,you know. What else do I not know about you?
Well, I am afraid of the ocean but I also like the beach..
Weird, he sat down on his couch and took out a packet of chips from under it, well sit down we need to talk. Tell me about yourself. Man, I want to know the girl who’s writing about me.
And so we talked the entire afternoon eating chips and drinking soda directly from the bottle and watched Cake Boss.
When I woke up, I was drooling on my laptop. I got up, and ate a bag full of potato chips and drank a whole bottle of coke and watched The Lion King.
What? Did you expect I’d watch Cake Boss?
Dude, I watched it already with Jim.
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