Satire
Are Oranges and a Cup of Tea — The Miraculous Fix for Weary Young Footballers!
Orange helps you to play football with precision. It must be the colour — orange!
Oranges give you all the needed energy to score goal upon goal for your team.
They bring back the power to your legs that have gone since the first half. They also protect you from the cold, wind and injury!
Who knew the humble orange could do so much.
It gives you the energy to navigate through opponents on the field. It’s the essential nourishment every young footballer craves!
I know it all sounds too good to be true! That a small orange could produce such quality players.
And let’s not forget the key part: the cup of tea with milk. This was all us lads needed to play great football.
Half time refreshment for yound footballers!
This must be why, when I was younger, at the end of every halftime during football games, I was given half an orange and cold tea with milk.
The problem is many of us CHOKED on the orange!
Many a time we would be eating the orange. Picture us all…. all rallied up from the first half. We want to talk animated tactics. Hands in the air, shouting at each other.
Laughing at other, rolling around the floor with laughter!
Who is not doing a good job? Why we are losing 10–0. Why are the oranges so sour! How we are going to score our next goal! Why is the tea so cold.
You’re in a rush to finish your sour orange, gulping down your cold tea before the game resumes.
But what usually follows is one of you choking on the bloody orange, trying to drive home a point.
I have seen this first hand. Players shoting , yelling at eachother. Only for the orange to fly down the wrong part of their throat and they end up choking! It has happened to me!
This results in a forceful thump on the back by more than one player! With murmurs of “Okay…? Watch it.”
The supposed, violent thump on the back, the medical fix for choking on orange and tea makes you spit out the very thing you are trying to keep down!
So I am not quite sure what this orange and cold tea was supposed to do.
But I do know that it did not make me play better.
I think I would have just prefered some water! What do you think?
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