Humour
Don’t Let The Neighbours Move Away
When you need them to stay — what do you do!
I know that many people have a love-hate relationship with their neighbours. But I have been lucky. Even as a child, we had great neighbours.
We would collect parcels for each other. Have a chat and when I was younger, yes, you guessed it we all played football together. As we had large playing fields behind where we lived.
It was a sad day when one of my neighbours left. Did we not laugh? Did we not share great moments like Liverpool winning the European Cup? Did we not have barbecues and look after each other’s houses when we went on holiday? Oh, the memories.
One fond memory I had of a neighbour, was when we had a fox infestation in our garden. He gave me a lot of practical advice on how to get rid of them and what I needed to buy. Unfortunately, nothing he told me worked as I later found out he had been leaving food out for the foxes to eat
Maybe that was not really a fond memory
Now, when I pop over to visit my cousin in Birmingham, he’s always moaning about his neighbours. Says they’re loud, rowdy, piss in his garden and throw eggs at his door!
Well, call me a hopeless optimist, but I’ve always had a soft spot for my cousin’s neighbours. Sure, they’ve had their quirks, like treating the front yard as a trash can or mistaking it for a public restroom, but hey, who among us hasn’t had a few slip-ups now and then?
I used to be a regular visitor, especially on Saturdays. But now that his rowdy neighbours are packing up and leaving, I can’t help but question my dedication to family ties. I mean, do I really like my cousin that much?
And speaking of game day, get this: his neighbours are Aston Villa Football Club! I can get him to get me tickets to watch Liverpool when they come to play Aston Villa. As the tickets go on sale he can walk across the road and booooooooooom tickets.
Yes, you heard that right.
And they are leaving to go to some state-of-the-art new stadium.
So, as I mourn the loss of what could’ve been a beautiful friendship with my cousin if only the club was still there.
Sorry cuz! You may not see me as often.
