Storytelling and Communication

Have you ever given an explanation that you were sure made so much logical sense?

And then been confronted with the big, fat “I still don’t agree” as your jaw literally drops in disbelief.

I remember when I first discovered the world of self-help I became instantly hooked. And I felt the whole world should know about it and become as hooked as I was.

….Except I couldn’t even influence my own mom.

And then I learned my mom represented humans as a whole.

Let me expand…

I remember finding it outrageous that my mom had no interest in reading any of the self-help books I told her to read…

I’d tell her she should do this and she should do that to learn to be less anxious. Yet, of course she never would. Instead we’d argue.

I wondered why.

It wasn’t until I learned that there was this thing called effective communication skills. Here’s the thing…

It wasn’t my mom’s fault. At all. It was my communication skills…or lack thereof.

People resist being told what to do. People love to feel like they come up with decisions on their own. It’s part of our DNA.

We can either spend our lives in frustration at this knowledge or we can appreciate human nature and use the knowledge to our advantage…

An Indirect Approach To Influence

It’s commonly said in the world of sales that people hate being sold to, but they love to buy. Storytelling is one tool of communication that allows us to plant a seed for others to water in their own time. Eventually feeling like they’ve come to a decision largely on their own.

One Of The Magic Powers Of Stories

A good story provides an entertaining way to absorb a lesson. Think of The Great Gatsby.

One of the lessons for that movie is “money can’t buy happiness”. However, most people will watch the movie to be entertained, not to be taught a lesson. A perfect and sneaky way to indirectly plant a seed.

Imagine trying to tell your money-hungry partner “It’s not all about money” as a way to get them to spend more time with you. That’s one way to get into a verbal argument.

Imagine your partner receiving the same lesson through another channel — a story. A story expressed as a movie in this case — The Great Gatsby.

Of course The Great Gatsby will not touch every money hungry person in the same way, but it will influence a lot more people than telling a person “it’s not all about money”. And if the story doesn’t achieve its purpose in influencing, we have to remember that people are allowed to have their own opinions at the end of the day.

Another great thing about stories, if told right, is that because of its indirect nature of teaching lessons, it’s less likely to cause an argument if the lesson is not received.

You Can’t Argue With a Story

For example, say you’re frustrated with your business partner who always wants to be the first to try something. And it’s been costing your company a good deal of money. Her motto is “the early bird gets the worm”.

Instead of telling her that her motto is dumb, you might share a story instead. A story on how it’s usually the first mouse that gets killed by the animal trap to try to prove that her motto isn’t always advantageous.

You may not successfully influence your partner to give up her motto right off the bat, but she sure as heck can’t disagree with your story. After all a story is a story. And chances are, that story will linger in her head. The seed is planted even if there’s no immediate verbal agreeance.

Reverse the Roles

Sometimes we think because something is so obvious for us that it must be obvious for others and who has time to learn how to communicate?

This is the mindset of the majority and that’s why simply knowing that there’s power in stories to influence puts you ahead of the curve. There’s a reason persuasive legends like Steve Jobs, Seth Godin, and Sheryl Sandberg use stories so much.

Success leaves clues.

Recall the last time someone tried to directly tell you that you were wrong about something. How did it make you feel? Is that how you want to make others feel?

If you on some level know that there’s power in stories to influence, go ahead and subscribe to get more tips on the power of story and how to use it in your copy.