Tales of Greedy Landladies
And the Advice From My Uncle
He’d just settled into my desk chair when Power Holding decided to take what was theirs. The loud wind outside, threatening to uproot the trees and any human life, waxed stronger.
“They will bring back the light. It’s because of the rain,” he commented
I hadn’t batted a lid, “They don’t need to, it’s helping minimize how much electricity we use.”
He looked at me incredulously and burst into laughter.
“Uncle seriously O. Our meter runs so fast, and the increased tariff is nobody’s mate.”
“You know, the meter you guys have is the first of its kind that came to Nigeria. They gave it to Asokoro and Maitama for testing. Against the newer models like my own, it consumes a lot of electricity.”
“Ah ah Uncle, you now use a meter?”
He sighed and shook his head, “Yes O. It almost caused problem between me and my landlady.”
As he speaks, he moves the chair around, rolling on its wheels in short distances around the room while I watch in quiet amusement.
“You know, we were using direct light before, with my wire connected through her house. Every new month, I’d give her two thousand and she’d add three thousand to pay the bill. On her own, she went and applied for a meter -she and that Baba Ada, the next-compound landlord, are always coming up with ideas.
Light in the meter would not even finish, she will now be disturbing me to pay up that it is a new month. Na there problem start.”
I chuckled and laid my chin in my palm, getting more comfortable.
“I now said since we cannot agree, let her apply for a meter for me. That was before Covid.
She and Baba Ada now heard that Federal Government said people using direct light should not pay bills, because everyone is supposed to have meters.”
At this point, I knew where this was going. “Don’t tell me she gave you her meter.
His index pointed at the floor in front of him matter-of-factly, “Gbam.”
My eyes widened because even with the confirmation of my thoughts, human beings never fall short of surprising me.
“I never knew that woman was so greedy. She and that Baba Ada gave their meters to tenants and connected themselves to direct light.
She didn’t even alert me that work was to be done on my house, it was as I came back from work that I saw one guy connecting what I don’t know in front of my door.
I gave it to her that day eh! She didn’t even believe it.”
The rain’s fervor had quietened, and I could hear cars running along the tarmac again.
“I left her for God O. And guess who came to serve her electricity bill of eighty-seven thousand this year for all she had used since Covid?”
“Jesus, eighty-seven?”
“Yes na. She was crying to them when I came back, asking me to help beg them. I just told Mama to pay O, so they don’t come and cut the light -you know my side gets power from the same line with her.”
The quiet road outside heard our guffawing.
…
My uncle shares a warning to the football players he coaches, and now by extension, you also.
“Don’t fight anybody in this economy. Take that anger and walk home with it -it will dissipate before you get to your destination. The smallest push you push somebody now, you don’t even know if they have eaten in the past week with the way things are, they will just fall. Anaaa -he has gone, and you will find yourself in a holding cell awaiting trial.”
