Owning your past: Storytelling with hope
The world loves Indiana Jones and so do I.
Jones is relatable, compelling and multi-faceted — the three cornerstones of a great character. Indie also has weaknesses and shortcomings, like when he narrowly escapes getting killed, gets beaten up, loses his gun, or acts arrogantly
Mistakes, missteps, failures, detours, pauses, and pivots can work in your favor as you develop your story just like they did for Indie. Framing them in a way that makes sense to you first and then your audience next is your challenge. The richness of your struggle adds depth and engagement to your story and helps you to develop a strong connection with your audience.
In this scene from the Crystal Skull, Indie not only makes a huge mistake like stepping in quicksand, but finds out he has a son:
In “The Story Conference” transcript from 1978, George Lucas, Steven Spielberg and Larry Kasdan sat down and talked about Indie’s character in minute detail along with the plot of the first movie, Raiders of the Lost Ark. George took the lead with his incredible imagination and attention to subtle details that appear in every Indie movie. Steven and Larry chimed in with ideas, questions, elaborations, and sometimes challenges to Lucas’ creation and thoughts. In this case, they were creating a fictional character and movie story plot. Their small group process approach can be a good way for you to develop your own “character,” you, and your “story plot,” the main events in your life.
Parents, siblings, relatives, friends, guidance counselors, job counselors, whoever they may be, can help you to understand, elucidate and draw out your strengths and weaknesses to highlight in your stories. Think of it as a 360-degree feedback session that will provide fruitful material for you to go forward, as well as an initial group of supporters to show your work to and get valuable feedback from as you progress. Build your story world with a group of advisors and you’ll have more material to work with to spin out versions or extrapolations of your five core stories.
We all make mistakes. Hiding them from the world is our first instinct but don’t…they make you more human and relatable.
Just like Indie, your faults, transgressions, and mistakes can make you more real to your audience and endear them to you. So instead of hoping no one will notice that C in physics or the gap in your work history, embrace it as a chance to explain what happened in your world, directed and created by you. Communicating how you’ve grown and developed as a result or pointing out the indirect benefit of any transgression shows maturity, grit, insight and self-awareness. Telling your story when you’ve had a gap in your high school life due to getting into trouble, illness of the physical or emotional kind, or coming from another country with credentials that need explaining is a challenge that is best dealt with head on.
I helped a friend who got D’s and F’s for all of his science classes during his junior year in college. He really wanted to apply to medical school and be a doctor. After enrolling in Columbia’s Premed post baccalaureate program, which he did quite well in, he was ready to apply to medical school. Still, there was the lingering question of how to address the failed semester. Would colleges overlook it, not notice it or should he lead with an explanation of the serious drop in his grades? I advised him to take the risk of writing his main essay owning the failure in grades and reassuring medical schools that his past was past. By addressing the gap in achievement, and highlighting his current success in the premed prep program head on, he was able to gain acceptance into Columbia Medical School.
Getting a D or F is an academic problem, imagine having to tell your story after getting out of prison.
Angela Haines, is a communications expert and founder of Ahglobalcommunications. She is also a managing director at Goldenseed, a women’s angel investing group, and wrote for the Huffington Post and Forbes on female entrepreneurship. She works with aspiring and seasoned executives, as well as international professionals to help them to effectively and strategically communicate. Angela recently decided to use her skills to help ex-convicts at the Fortune Society in Queens, New York, to prepare for the job market after being released from prison. The obstacles these, predominantly, men have in telling their story presents real challenges that she helps them to overcome.
One of many challenges her Fortune Society pro-bono clients, who range in age from about twenty-two to forty, face is that they have missed out on the digital age. “It’s shocking,” she said. “Like a twenty-eight-year-old playing video games is almost unheard of in this culture.” When she asked them what kind of jobs they could qualify for, most cite maintenance work. This is what they did in prison.
Besides not having digital skills that most of us take for granted, there’s the challenge of explaining to a future employer why they were sent to prison. Angela talked about a client she was trying to help who had been in prison for fifteen years for manslaughter. She asked him about the reason for his incarceration. He said, “Look this is how it is. I’m a real family kind of guy. Family is everything to me. So this guy raped my sister and I killed him.” Despite his embarrassment and sheepishness about this past, Angela motivated him to forge on by owning his past but not dwelling on it.
In the Shawshank Redemption, Red gets out of prison after Andy writes him a letter giving him hope for the future.
Hope is why we tell our stories — to move on from our past transgressions and let others know that we learned from our mistakes… So next time you think you have it bad, think about the men and women who need to storytell after being incarcerated. Mistakes make you human, relatable and engender empathy in your audience. So go ahead, share them with the world. Plus, someone may learn something from you, giving them hope that they, too, can overcome the past.
I hope you enjoyed this post — if you want to connect, you can reach me here via email Kimberlya.norton@gmail.com or connect with me on social: LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter. Also, you can find my book, STORY: the art of standing out on Amazon — here is the link to buy it: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07H94D3L1
