Fear is when what you wanted comes calling but you don’t know how to respond — @gufydox #MisimuZangu
I grew up loving a Muslim lady. Everyday after school I’d walk into the ghetto’s and right after she does her evening prayers, we’d walk those streets at night holding hands.
We had found our light in that evening darkness because it was there where we could be without any fear of anything. For the longest of times I’ve thought that maybe love grows in places we never thought of. In places we are told not to look. That maybe love shouldn’t be boxed in religion and belief ratios.
But here we are, worlds apart but every time we talk we blame our Gods for giving love selfishly. Maybe we are wrong, maybe we were just two little souls with nothing to show the world. Maybe we were young and full of impossible dreams and desires.
But,
When you are 23 years into breathing and it still hurts that you chose the light, you chose not to trouble family with conversation stories and with ideas of being called a Yusuf and putting on kanzus, then maybe our youngness and naivety was the truth.
One day, just recently she texted me and she said
“I’m ready to be a Christian. I can’t continue hurting this way”.
Fear is when what you wanted comes calling but you don’t know how to respond. Do you hug it or do you stay silent, praying it passes you by?
I told her,
“ I am a 22 year old boy trying to measure into a man. I have nothing to offer you and your family loves you more than I do and I don’t want to leave the rest of our lives fighting your father and mother and your people and your God”
Do I regret this? Everyday. Have I stopped feeding my heart her name? I haven’t.
I keep telling myself, one day I will walk into the ghettos and face the father and ask for their daughter. One day I will ask Jesus and Mohammed to stop fighting and they will grant my requests but the day I go for her, she’d be in the arms of another man. Someone who decided to cherish the darkness and finding light in the midst of it.
