Sometimes goodbye is necessary ~via Steve Harper — Return on Relationship
“I spent way too much time seeking approval and retreating back into my shell when I didn’t get it. In my desire to avoid conflict, I would stop pushing when I was met with resistance, which left me feeling depleted and uninspired.” AMEN Steve Harper, Mr. “Let’s Ripple” /Ted
During the past month or so, I’ve experienced a lot of change in my life. I’ve said goodbye to a few professional relationships that were no longer serving me. I realized I was holding on to them more as a security blanket than out of necessity.
Although moving forward into unknown waters by myself has been scary, it has also been freeing. Liberating, in fact.
I’ve learned a few things along the way.
- I am more capable than I gave myself credit for.
- Everything is figureoutable. (This is my made-up word for the year)
- Someone’s expertise does not make them an expert.
- Acknowledgment and appreciation when someone is paid to give it to you just isn’t as rewarding or valuable.
- It’s not their money that is being spent or invested, so it’s easy for them to tell you how to spend it.
- Fear is not a good reason to do something. Nor is it a good reason not to do something.
- In the end, it’s my call and no one else’s. Simply put, I don’t need someone else’s permission to do anything.
I realized the relationships I had were a bit dysfunctional. For a guy who specializes in helping people with their relationships, this is hard to admit. Even The Ripple Man gets it wrong sometimes. Harsh truth, but it is reality.
I spent way too much time seeking approval and retreating back into my shell when I didn’t get it. In my desire to avoid conflict, I would stop pushing when I was met with resistance, which left me feeling depleted and uninspired.
Who was paying whom you might ask? I know, I know. I should have known better.
This is not someone else’s fault, nor am I blaming them. I had to allow this to happen in order for them to make me feel so bad or dependent on them. That falls 100% on me.
Since ending these relationships, I’ve learned to find people who specialize in certain areas and bring a very specific expertise to the table. I don’t need the chef to be the sous-chef, the kitchen manager, the waiter, and the hostess all at the same time.
But I do need whoever comes in to recognize that I own the place.
I’ve learned that people who haven’t actually done anything significant for themselves or their business are just another “expert” faking it until they make it. There’s a reason they haven’t found their true success by now, too.
I suppose I knew a lot of this early on. I wanted it to be different — hell, I hoped it would be different. But, as a good friend of mine once said, “Hope is not a strategy.”
Since making these monumental decisions to move on (yes, there were more than one), things have shifted dramatically.
I feel reinvigorated and excited for the future.
In those moments when I’d normally reach out to what I thought was my safety net to share an idea, discuss a problem, or whatever, I suddenly realize I am going it alone and there is no safety net.
It’s my tightrope; just keep moving forward, Steve, and don’t look down!
But it’s okay. It will all be okay.
I’ve added very specific and specialized resources to help me navigate the stuff I am not good at, or that drains me. I’ve taken a bigger step back to look out at the horizon and decide where I really want to steer myself next. And I’ve managed to stop and take in the view, which is pretty big for me.
I’m more intentional and more in control.
Oh, and something that has absolutely blown me away is that my creativity and my passion for what I do have returned to spades. And boy, has it been good for business.
I am eternally grateful for what these folks did for me, so I don’t want you or anyone else to think I’m throwing under the bus them for what they did or didn’t do. I own the responsibility of letting things go on way too long, and I have to live with the consequences of not taking this big step forward sooner.
Sometimes, when we strive to do the right thing we often end up making more of the wrong things in the end. A lesson in Rippling I am clearly still learning.
Ripple On!!!
Originally published at https://www.ror.online on May 15, 2024.
