COCKTAIL — Hairy Navel Cocktail Recipe
I pray you, do not fall in love with me, for I am falser than vows made in wine. — William Shakespeare
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Ah, the Hairy Navel. A drink born from the depths of desperation and a severe lack of imagination. Legend has it that it was invented by a perpetually disgruntled bartender who had grown weary of the incessant demands of his patrons. Fueled by an unyielding sense of apathy, he combined two of the most basic and uninspired ingredients he could find — vodka and orange juice. The name, of course, is a nod to the unsightly state of the bartender’s own navel, a testament to the neglect and disregard that permeated his very being.
Now, onto the art of crafting this illustrious libation. Picture a dimly lit bar, the air thick with the scent of disillusionment and stale beer. As the ice clinks in the glass, the bartender’s eyes glaze over with a hint of resignation. And thus begins the ritual of assembling this drink, a symphony of indifference and a dash of bitter irony.
But I digress. We shall delve into the intricacies of this cocktail another time. For now, let us bask in the absurdity of its existence and revel in the sheer audacity of its name. Cheers to the Hairy Navel, a testament to the enigmatic allure of mediocrity.
Ingredients:
- 1.5 oz vodka
- 4 oz orange juice
- Ice
- Orange slice or cherry for garnish (optional)
Instructions:
- Fill a highball glass with ice.
- Pour the vodka and orange juice over the ice.
- Stir gently to mix the ingredients.
- Garnish with an orange slice or cherry if desired.
- Serve and enjoy responsibly.
There you have it, the Hairy Navel. A delightful reminder that in the midst of life’s discomforts, sometimes all you need is a mediocre cocktail to temporarily distract you from the existential dread and crushing weight of reality. Because nothing screams “I’m avoiding my problems” quite like sipping on a concoction named after a body part that’s not exactly known for its glamour. But hey, who needs profound solutions when you can have a fleeting moment of reprieve in a glass of vodka and orange juice?
