The Energy Accounting of Intimate Relationship

Here’s what makes a long-term relationship “worth it.”

Here’s a question. Is your relationship worth it?

I can’t give you the answer, or even a formula that could tell you. But I can help you understand the math your heart is already doing on the topic, why it’s coming up with the results it is, and what would need to be different if you’re not happy with what it’s telling you.

I’m going to say a few things that seem self-evident and pointless…
then something surprising and apparently impossible…
then something very concrete and applicable.

Irreplaceable bond, or fair-weather relationship?

Let’s start with some context. When times are good—when your life in general is going well—it’s easy to love. It feels good to do nice things for each other. Being generous and loving comes naturally. Relationships tend to thrive in the fertile soil of a good life.

When life challenges have you feeling drained or stressed, the solidity of the relationship is revealed more starkly, one way or the other.

You might feel more gratitude than ever—I’m sooooo glad to be facing this with you by my side, I can’t imagine trying to do it alone!

Or you might feel the opposite—you start to experience them as an additional burden and feel resentful. All this plus…