This Is Why Your Relationship Feels Like Work

Let’s take a look at what motivates you.

My wife and I were recently reflecting on how our relationship never feels like work. Even though we do all the things most people mean when they say “relationships are hard work”:

• We have tough conversations.
• We’re not afraid to disagree, sometimes passionately.
• We have a full range of emotions.
• We have the courage to hear truths that aren’t pleasant and speak feelings we’re not proud of.
• We call each other out, and we expose our own unattractive parts of ourselves.
• We’re willing to take a stand if we feel strongly about something, even when it feels like we’re putting the relationship at risk.
• We stretch ourselves out of old habits and into new patterns.
• Most importantly, we stay connected through it all, until we get to to the other side.

We’ve never not resolved an issue. And each time we do we reap the benefits—we feel closer, more loving, more supported and supportive, more accepting of ourselves and each other.

But it never feels like work.

Why is that?

To be honest, I didn’t immediately know. I had to give it some thought. Then I read something that helped solidify it for me.