Why We Feel Impatient In The Bedroom

Let’s talk about the experience of wanting to hurry things along in the bedroom. (Or toward the bedroom.)

Here you are, engaged and having a good time… then at some point it stops being fun. You’re eager to progress to the obvious “next stage” whatever that is, and your partner isn’t. It’s too soon, or they want to keep doing what you’re currently doing, or maybe they’re winding down and starting to feel done. Or they’re not thinking in terms of progressing through the bases.

For you the pull is so strong that you can’t conceive how they’re not feeling it too, and now you’re impatient and wanting to speed up.

As a coach I get asked about this. The scenario varies but the feeling is similar. You could be flirting and eager to make out, or making out and wanting clothes off, or in the middle of non-penetrative sex play and feeling desire for PIV, or fucking and pulling for climax. Enjoyment gives way to eagerness, then over-eagerness, then impatience and frustration.

The real question

Take a minute right now to remember a time you felt this kind of impatience. Recall the scenario and the feelings that came up.

Got it? OK. Here’s a question for you:

Do you enjoy being aroused?

When I ask people this question I often get a blank stare and a Huh? So I clarify. Do you enjoy the sensation of being…