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The Craft Of Intimate Coupledom

Direct, honest discourse on relationships, love, sex, and life

  • Relationships
  • Sex
  • Passion
  • Men
  • Jealousy
  • Monogamy (and Non-)
  • Ken Blackman
  • On Open Relationships and the Exclusivity Slider

    On Open Relationships and the Exclusivity Slider

    If you want security in your relationship, you better understand the distinction between security and monogamy.
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    Ken Blackman
    Oct 18, 2014
    This Is Why Your Relationship Feels Like Work

    This Is Why Your Relationship Feels Like Work

    My wife and I were recently reflecting on how our relationship never feels like work. Even though it seems like we do a lot of the same…
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    Ken Blackman
    Nov 16, 2021
    The Energy Accounting of Intimate Relationship

    The Energy Accounting of Intimate Relationship

    Here’s what makes a long-term relationship “worth it.”
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    Ken Blackman
    Dec 21, 2022
    Stop Calling It A Communication Problem.

    Stop Calling It A Communication Problem.

    If you’re adults and speak the same language fluently then “communication” isn’t the issue.
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    Ken Blackman
    Jan 18, 2020
    Why I Stopped Using “Masculine” and “Feminine” (and What I Say Instead)

    Why I Stopped Using “Masculine” and “Feminine” (and What I Say Inst...

    In 2015 we set out to redefine healthy masculinity. Then I realized the word had problems that wouldn’t be resolved by a new definition.
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    Ken Blackman
    Nov 12, 2018
    Are You Enjoying This, Or Just Being Kind?

    Are You Enjoying This, Or Just Being Kind?

    Here’s the best way to be honest about your level of enthusiasm.
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    Ken Blackman
    Dec 26, 2021
    Being monogamous with a non-monogamous partner

    Being monogamous with a non-monogamous partner

    It isn't a rule that couples have to have the same set of rules for each other. Here's an example of why, and how, it can work.
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    Ken Blackman
    May 30, 2018
    Envy/Desire — Jealousy Part 3

    Envy/Desire — Jealousy Part 3

    Relationship problems exacerbate jealousy. People getting everything they want tend to feel less jealous.
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    Ken Blackman
    Jan 22, 2016
    Mediocre sex is not an option.

    Mediocre sex is not an option.

    Long-term relationships are the ideal opportunity to have the best sex life you’ve ever had.
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    Ken Blackman
    Jul 6, 2017
    Emotional outsourcing doesn’t work in the long run, fellas.

    Emotional outsourcing doesn’t work in the long run, fellas.

    He’s a producer by nature. Results-oriented, focused, stoic or even brooding at times. She’s loving and nurturing by nature. She loves him…
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    Ken Blackman
    Jun 20, 2017
    Rational Vs. Emotional — Jealousy Part 2

    Rational Vs. Emotional — Jealousy Part 2

    Jealousy is a two-headed, green-eyed monster. It’s got an intellectual side and an emotional side.
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    Ken Blackman
    Jan 20, 2016
    My Graduation from Nice Guy Misogyny

    My Graduation from Nice Guy Misogyny

    (My changing definition of respecting women)
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    Ken Blackman
    Nov 5, 2017
    If you’re tortured by your own preferences you’re using them wrong.

    If you’re tortured by your own preferences you’re using them wrong.

    A few reminders to You, Creator of Everything.
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    Ken Blackman
    Aug 23, 2016
    Skillful Passion (a lesson in fighting)

    Skillful Passion (a lesson in fighting)

    If you fight, fight like a pro.
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    Ken Blackman
    Jul 3, 2017
    The Path from Desire to Fulfillment

    The Path from Desire to Fulfillment

    It's a cycle. Here are some of the places we can get stuck along the way.
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    Ken Blackman
    Sep 26, 2014
    Men want sex and women want love? Not exactly.

    Men want sex and women want love? Not exactly.

    Our use of technology hints at something surprising about men and women.
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    Ken Blackman
    Mar 13, 2018
    Fucking is an advanced practice

    Fucking is an advanced practice

    In a recent Facebook Live I did on physical intimacy, I said “fucking is an advanced practice.” This comment drew a lot of questions.
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    Ken Blackman
    Feb 28, 2018
    Reframing “Masculine” and “Feminine”

    Reframing “Masculine” and “Feminine”

    Someone asked, “How does healing your own inner masculine attract healthy men into your life?”
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    Ken Blackman
    Aug 27, 2022
    Your prospects for a great sex life with your long-term partner

    Your prospects for a great sex life with your long-term partner

    Does sex improve or decline in a committed relationship? What’s required to have a great love life long-term? Here’s an analogy…
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    Ken Blackman
    Apr 29, 2018
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