The Respectable Ones

We are poisoned by a two-headed snake…

I remember when I was first smitten by its poison. The six-figure job, a fancy title, and a comment after hosting a panel discussion around an important social issue in front of an audience of the “respectable” elite.

“Wow.” the woman said. “Not only do you speak well to the issues, but you definitely have a brain on you.”

Her comment was meant to be a light-hearted acknowledgment of my intelligence and ability to sound coherent when discussing important matters, but quickly, my mind felt uneasy. Not because of what she said but because of how her words, regardless of how well-intentioned, began to massage my ego. Initially, there was a deep satisfaction in thinking that I had finally arrived at the place in society in which my ancestors strived. I had been chosen to walk into rooms of importance to discuss important issues. Chosen to hold the banner that validates all the hard work of those who had come before me and the hard work that I had done atop their shoulders. Yet, at that moment, my spirit felt a deep unease. When I looked around the room at the sea of faces, I was forced to ask myself, have I truly:

“Come to the place for which our fathers sighed?”

A six-figure salary, an important title, the tailor-made suit, validating moments of intellectual performance…