Become the Best Version of Yourself Through Self-monitoring

We can’t stand breaking promises to anyone…except ourselves

Breaking a promise to our friends, to our family, or to our boss seems almost unfathomable. We will go to heroic lengths to not let them down. We want them to know that they can trust us. That we can deliver for them. That when we say something, we are going to do it.

But when it comes to a promise to ourselves…that’s a different story. We promise ourselves that this time we’re going to make it to the gym 4 times a week, cut back on spending, and eat healthier. But for some reason if we don’t keep that promise, we’re not too upset about it.

Sure, we may feel guilty. We may get down on ourselves. But the passion that we get to ensure that we come through for someone else just doesn’t seem to be there when the person we may let down is ourself.

But what if we could see ourselves differently? What if we could see letting ourselves down the same way we see letting our friends or families down?

STUDY WITH MIRRORS

When scientists looked at the brains of people who looked at their reflections in the mirror, they found something rather odd. The part of the brain that would say “hey, that’s me in the mirror”didn’t light up. Instead, it was the part of the brain that sets goals for self-improvement. [1]

When we look in a mirror, we don’t just see our reflection. We see everything we want to improve about our looks.

“I wish I was taller”

“I want to lose some weight”

“I need a hair-cut, now!”

We compare what we see in the mirror to an ideal standard of ourselves. We don’t see who we are, we see who we want to be.

EVOLUTION OF SELF-AWARENESS

Despite what you may be thinking, this is not just a phenomenon in Western Society where “looks are everything”. This comparison to an ideal standard is just as likely to occur in Papua New Guinea where a man of the tribe may not be living up to the ideal hunter he wishes he was.

So why do we have this constant judgment of who we are versus who we want to want to be? The answer lies in the evolution of our species.

Millions of years ago, humans were remarkably weak and vulnerable. The only way we survived was by sticking together in a tribe. To ensure we didn’t get banished from the tribe, we learned self-control. No stealing other people’s food, mate, or the shelter they’ve worked so hard on. This evolved into our modern day conception of willpower.

Because of this importance, we wanted to be the best members of the tribe that we could. So we began looking at our behavior and comparing it to that of the “top” members of the tribe. We wanted to live up to their high standards. So we looked at what the differences were between who we were and who we wanted to be. This led to the development of monitoring ourselves and becoming more self-aware. [2]

SELF-AWARENESS LEADS TO SELF-CONTROL

To measure the importance of being more self-aware, researchers went back to the mirrors. Would we let ourselves down less if we saw ourselves in the mirror? If we were tempted to break the promises we made to ourselves, could our reflection possibly keep us in check?

To answer this question, researchers invited 2 groups of dieters into a room to rate different candy bars. They were each allowed to eat as much of the candy as they’d like in order to secure a “definite rating”. 1 group was to rate the candy at a table that was directly in front of a mirror. So they couldn’t help but see themselves eat the candy. The other group did not have a mirror.

The group that saw their own reflections not only ate less of the candy, but they reported that it wasn’t difficult for them to stop eating. By looking at themselves in the mirror, they were able to tap into this desire to be the best version of themselves which made it easier to resist the temptations in front of them. [3]

MONITORING YOURSELF INCREASES YOUR “WANT POWER”

So what does this mean? That we should carry a mirror around with us and look at ourselves when we’re tempted?

Maybe.

But the principle finding in this study was not that mirrors were a self-control cure per se. It was thatsimply being self-aware can make it easier for us to act like the best version of ourselves. To be like the person that we want to see in the mirror.

To accomplish this, research shows that you do not have to bring a full body mirror with you at all times. What you can do is increase your level of self-monitoring.

By tracking your spending, you are less likely to spend impulsively. By writing down the food that you eat, you are less likely to indulge. And by monitoring where your time is being spent on your computer, you are less likely to waste it looking up cat videos. [1]

All of these changes will occur seemingly without you realizing it — just as the dieters didn’t realize that they were indulging less by facing a mirror. By self-monitoring, you are constantly reminded of the best version of yourself. This simple reminder will trigger an area of your brain that is responsible for inspiration, motivation and sticking to long-term goals. This process will create “Want Power”. [4]

“Want Power” is the strongest form of willpower that we have. It creates the same energy that we get when we read a motivational quote or get inspired by a great speech. It creates a rush of energy for us to push through the day-to-day grind and work toward our larger aspirations. By monitoring ourselves, we create this power to do our best and live up to the best version of ourselves.

SO WHAT CAN WE DO?

With advances in technology, there are many different apps and services that can help us track information on ourselves.

Here are some that I would recommend depending on what your goals are.

*Do not get all of them at once! Despite the fact that it will be easier to make progress on your goals by monitoring yourself, if you try to monitor everything at once, you’re setting yourself up for failure for the reasons listed here.

Tracking your food

Due to all of the benefits of self-monitoring that I listed above, keeping track of what you eat has been proven to be the number one way dieters lose weight (even without denying themselves anything!). [5]

Simply writing down the day, time and food that you eat is enough to see results. But I recommend that you use MyFitnessPal which makes it much easier to see all of the nutrition information. (You can also invite your friends to add some healthy accountability)

Tracking your expenses

Keeping track of your expenses has proven to change the way you look at purchasing an item. In most people’s brains, the reward center lights up every time you contemplate a new purchase — which can lead to being impulsive. By tracking your finances, you’re able to rewire your brain to think more logically about the purchase and make smarter decisions. [1]

There are many financial tracking apps on the market today. I personally use Mint, but there are many others that may work better for your needs listed here.

Tracking your exercise

Tracking your exercise progress is another great way to stay committed. Not only does keeping track of your exercise plan help you make it to the gym, but tracking your improvements is very intrinsically motivating. Seeing your progress — whether it’s strength or cardio — will motivate you to stay on track.

Again, nothing fancy is required for this. If you’re old fashioned, this method will help you keep track in a notebook. And if you want something more advanced, here is a list of apps that can help you track your progress.

Tracking your sleep

Finding enough hours in the day to get some shut-eye is hard. Which is why finding ways to increase the quality of your sleep can make a big difference. There are now apps out there that can track the quality of your sleep and offer suggestions that will help you get more out of the hours you are able to spend in bed.

To get started, here is a list of apps and gadgets that you can use to help get a better rest.

Tracking your productivity

Finally, you can now monitor how much time you’re spending productively on your computer. With the invention of the internet, we continue to find unique ways to waste our time. But by monitoring where that time is going, we can better understand how to deal with distractions.

To get started, here is a list of the best apps to help you see where your time is going on your computer.

CONCLUSION

The main reason that we do not want to let other people down is because we want their approval. We want them to see us living up to the high standards that we set for ourselves.

By monitoring our behavior, we subconsciously try to live up to these high standards as well. We are able to objectively see where we are and can compare that to where we want to be. This may sound harsh, but what we’re really doing is keeping the best version of ourselves in minds and subtly acting more like them. And we owe it to our friends, families and especially ourselves to strive to be the best we can be at all times.

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