Commit to the Process, Not the Results- A Religious Perspective

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5 (NIV)

“So lose not heart, nor fall into despair: For ye must gain mastery if ye are true in Faith.” (Quran 3–139)

“The greatest effort is not concerned with the results.” Buddhist Master Atisha

“The Tao produces (all things) and nourishes them; it produces them and does not claim them as its own; it does all and yet does not boast of it; it presides over all, and yet does not control them. This is what is called ‘The mysterious quality of the Tao.” – Lau Tzu

In life there will be times when you put in all your sweat, blood and tears into an effort and still fail. How does one overcome the crushing blow of failure when this happens and keep going?

I remember in my high school history class my teacher picked me specifically to represent the side of a debate that I was likely to lose. He told me to argue that Alexander the Great wasn’t the greatest military leader in history. I stayed up all night doing research and practicing my argument in front of the mirror. When it was time to present, I stood up in front of my classmates and made a passionate delivery to the best of my ability. I asked, “If Alexander was so great, why did the empire he built split up after he died?” And, “Why did his own troops mutiny against him?” My opponent clearly did less work and research. His delivery was almost sleepy.

Yet when the time came to vote, my classmates still voted against me. When I asked why, they said, “It’s Alexander the Great, what do you expect?” I was so disheartened that I was holding back tears of frustration. My teacher could definitely tell that I was very upset. He told me in private he knew he gave me the more difficult task and could tell I tried my best, but he also told me it’s important to learn that you don’t always win in life.

Twenty years later, I wonder if my teacher set me up to fail on purpose so he could teach me a valuable lesson about failure. That it’s OKAY to fail. Or maybe he just didn’t like me. Who knows?

The point is that if you want to succeed at any endeavor in life, it’s important to commit to the process and not the results. Because sometimes you’ll fail, and sometimes you’ll succeed, but no one knows ultimately what will happen except for God. Yet nothing will happen if you don’t keep putting in the work and effort.

When it comes to religion, this means that everything one does should be for the purpose of serving God, even if the results in this life are not so glamorous.

In the Islamic tradition, the prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) encountered many failures in his struggle to reform the corruption of his society and to promote the oneness of God. One of his greatest humiliations was when he sought refuge with the people of Taif.

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) met with the chiefs of the major tribe in Taif, Thaqeef tribe. He (peace be upon him) told them about Islam, worshipping only one God, and leaving idol worshipping. They rejected his message and insulted him. Not only did they refuse to listen to his message, but they unleashed the children of their tribe to throw stones at him and drive him out of their town. With people jeering at him as his ankles bled, he ran out, finding shelter in an empty orchard. (Saudi Gazette)

However, the Prophet Mohammad did not give up after this incident. Nor did he invoke curses upon the people of Taif or wish for their destruction. Instead, he prayed that God would show the people of Taif mercy. Afterward, he continued to preach the oneness of God no matter what happened. And now today, Taif is a city with over one million Muslims. It was also a Muslim from Taif who brought Islam to South Asia (which now has the largest population of Muslims in the world). And Islam is the second most practiced religion in the world. Who knows what would have happened if Mohammad gave up after Taif? And even for those reading this who are not religious, or who are not Muslim, you have to admit that this is quite an accomplishment considering the continuous humiliations Mohammad suffered.

Mohammad’s initial failure at Taif shows a model to us for how to deal with failure in our own lives. Don’t curse people for not acting how you want them to act. Don’t waste time blaming others or lashing out, even if they are wrong. Instead, pray for and forgive those who reacted badly to your efforts and then keep going. It may be hard to forgive, but forgiveness is essential for your own recovery. It is also important to be humble and keep the ego under control so that forgiveness can happen. Dhikr (religious chanting) and meditation can help keep the heart humble.

It may also be hard to keep going after dealing with a great loss. But if you’re doing something that is truly worth while in life, God will ultimately help you if you are patient. And God is the controller of all things.

In my own life, I find that I am a people pleaser. I think, “If I give Bob a present or cook Samantha a nice meal, this will make them like me.” But the reality is that I have no control over whether someone likes me or not. I should give someone a present or cook them a meal because it’s a nice thing to do, regardless of the outcome.

This is why in many religious traditions, people are discouraged from telling others about their good deeds. Because then the purpose of doing the good deed will ultimately become about one’s ego, rather than for goodness itself.

Feeding a homeless person is a good deed, regardless of whether they thank you or throw the sandwich you gave them into the trash.

Giving money to charity is a good deed, regardless of whether the organization thrives or falls apart. (Just be sure to do your research first.)

Calling a lonely, elderly relative to keep them company is still a good deed, regardless of whether they thank you or complain that you are not as interesting as your cousin So and So.

Dressing modestly is still pleasing to the Lord, whether people compliment you or sneeringly tell you you look like you stepped out of a Jane Austen novel.

If we want to live our best spiritual lives, we cannot be attached to the outcomes of our actions. We must shift our perspective to remember that we do these actions for God, and God’s pleasure alone. Of course you want to achieve the best results you can. Of course you should strive to have a good life in which you are comfortable and have the money or resources to support those you care about. But at the end of the day, the results of your actions are not as important as your intentions.

God is always watching and good efforts will always be rewarded one way or another, whether in this life or the next. But the reward doesn’t always come immediately or in the way we expect. And this is why we must always be patient.