Giving instead of receiving
“Happiness doesn’t result from what we get, but from what we give.”
― Ben Carson
Have you recently gifted someone? Have you recently helped someone by doing them a favor? If you celebrate Christmas, you’ve probably given and received presents or favors. If you celebrated a friend’s birthday or congratulated someone, you probably gave them a gift.
Do you remember how you felt when you received, and how you felt when you gave? Which one made you feel happier? Which one made you feel prouder… more satisfied? Personally, I think giving makes me happier.
I try to imagine the recipient’s face as I give them the present. I hope that they’ll be happy with my present, and I’ll usually try to put thought into the gift. I love the reaction I get from my friends when I show them the surprise gift. I love receiving gifts, but I find that I love giving gifts too.
I used to give in order to receive, but I really enjoy giving without expecting now. I learned that when you expect something back, you’re not really being generous. You have hidden intentions that ultimately lead back to yourself, and if your expectations are not met, you’ll probably feel angry toward the person who thought the gift was out of generosity.
I love watching the person react to the present that I put thought into. I love when they show me appreciation, and enthusiasm for the gift. It usually doesn’t even have to be a gift of monetary value.
I like to write handwritten messages because I feel like they’re more heartfelt than anything you can buy. Letters make me think more about the person, and I get to write more honest and meaningful messages. While I do feel happy when I receive a material gift, I think I prefer letters that show appreciation of our friendship.
I find it interesting how giving is also selfish. We usually give because we want to be appreciated. We want to feel recognition, and we’re usually proud of our presents. We want to feel like we brought value to the other person by giving them gifts.
But let’s not focus on the negatives of giving. Generosity is something that makes us all happy. When we recognize that we are more fortunate than others, we have a desire to help the less privileged.
I find that it’s pretty hard to give when I’m not satisfied. I remember when I brought home a sandwich, and I was getting ready to bite into it when my sister asked me for some. I felt slightly irritated and I told her to get her own sandwich. She walked away and I instantly felt regretful. I ended up not being able to finish the sandwich in the end.
Why was I so stingy when I could have offered her a few bites? Why did I get so irritated in this moment, when in other situations I would gladly give her a bite? Why couldn’t I simply share the sandwich and make us both happy?
It’s not like I was going to starve, and it’s not like she was asking for the whole thing. I felt shameful that I was being so greedy over something that was so accessible to me.
I think it’s natural to feel that sting. That initial pain and irritation that arises when someone asks. Maybe we only want to give when we feel like giving. Maybe I would have offered her some in the end when I felt like I had my fill. I don’t know, but I remember after that day I’ve been trying to be more conscious of my selfishness.
Practice giving when you don’t have enough. Give when you can barely provide for yourself. Give when you’re not ready to give, and you will be happier than if you didn’t. Give without expecting something in return.
Instead of receiving gifts, try giving gifts next time. See how it feels when your friends and family show you appreciation and gratitude. See the joy you feel when you pull out the present and see the smile that spreads across their faces.
Trust me, no amount of receiving can make up for that feeling you’ll get when you give.
“Always give without remembering and always receive without forgetting.”
― Brian Tracy
