Truth be told, I never really saw myself as a ‘University girl’ and had you told me when I was 16 surrounded by glue guns and Art Coursework that I would be sitting here, a few weeks away from my final Dissertation deadline, cusping on Graduation, I may have just laughed in your face.
Writing and Creativity has always been the world to me, a place for me to escape to whenever I’m feeling a little lost and need some form of inspiration. But apart from writing, I was never really, lets say a, ‘School Academic’. Having been diagnosed with Dyslexia aged 4, you would think that English would’ve been a struggle for me, but instead I defied the odds (and some statistics) and thrived in my English work, because it is something I have always loved. And when you love something, it isn’t work at all. Alongside my writing is my flare for creativity. Having gained 100% at both GCSE and Art A-Level, it has always been more than just a heavy workload to me (although at times I would’ve sworn I hated it), but something I live and breathe through my clothing, down to the way I decorate the walls in my room. Art encompasses who I am, and really without it, I don’t know who I would be.
But we’re going off on a tangent here. What I am trying to explain is that I have always been a creative mind, and being a messy, visual, somewhat dyslexic and creative mind in an enclosed highly Academic atmosphere like University, can sometimes be suffocating. Don’t mistake this for me saying that I hate University, I don’t. I love my course, I love sitting in my lectures on Modern Art and discussing ‘The Contemporary Moment’ and I love confronting people who tell me ‘I don’t study a real subject’. Art History is very much a real subject, it is very much a real lifestyle and very much contributes to the way I live my life. But just because I love my course does not mean that I ‘love’ University. University is not for everyone. Deadlines loom, that’s just the way it is, Kitchen’s get dirty with plates stacked to the ceiling, routines become a thing of the past and pressure is very much intact, at times even when you are surrounded by people, you can almost feel lonely. University is after-all, an Academic Institution. As much as it is a laugh and an excuse to go clubbing mid-week and turn up to your lecture in pyjamas it is definitely a challenge too, one not to be underestimated.
I’m not a meek person, I’m most definitely not a person to conceal how I feel nor am I someone who crumbles under pressure. That being said, there have been times at University that I have felt all of those things. People will say things you disagree with, it’s the way you handle it that helps to define you as a person. Your friends will sometimes forget to ask you to go to Tesco with them, it’s not malicious nor intentional, but often just a spur of the moment ‘we have no milk’ kinda issue, you will feel like you can’t deal with the pressure anymore, with two assessments and a presentation for Tuesday morning that you haven’t even started on the Sunday night but don’t mistake that for not knowing where it is you are going. If you asked me one thing that I’ve taken from my University Experience it would be to accept that not everyone will have the same voice or the same opinion as you. And that is ok. You are not going to always agree with your lecturer and they’ll be a few times you wished you hadn’t have gone out last night when you are sitting in your 9am with heavy eyes. You’ll fight with your flatmates and you’ll cry into a Banksy Book whilst contemplating the meaning of the ‘Contemporary Moment’. But when that moment comes, that moment when you are standing in your Seminar about to give your last presentation of term, you’ll look back at the last three years and see only the good, see only the friends you made and the memories that will be spoken about at your wedding.
If you, reader, whoever you may be, take one thing out of reading my 8:55pm ramblings on a Wednesday night it would be that regardless of your creative state of mind, regardless as to whether or not you deal well under pressure and regardless as to whether you were or were not deemed ‘academic’ at school, University is an amazing, awe-inspiring, life changing experience. Something every student would agree with. Will I be sad to see it go? Yes and No. Will I miss being able to use a Student Card? Absolutely. Is it a scary concept to enter the big wide world? 100%. Will I miss having to walk in to a dirty student kitchen comparable to a pig sty? Maybe even a little bit. But it is these memories that I’m sure I will carry with me for the rest of my life, that have taught me valuable lessons about myself and about others, alongside teaching me life-skills that will come in handy every single day. So I test you reader, ask me about the history behind an Evelyn De Morgan painting, question me on how to deal with your best friend who needs relationship advice from across the corridor at 3:30am, let me advise you how to make it through that 2 hour seminar when your head is pounding, how to cook a roast chicken, the liberating feeling of going out at 12pm and not having your mum question where it is your going and when you’ll be home, how it feels for the fire alarm to go off at 4:30am and to waddle outside your front door in -4 degrees with the rest of your flat all laughing. I’ll tell you how the smell of burnt toast will be forever engrained in your nostrils and that University has been everything I thought it would be and more, and I will sort of maybe in a few more ways than one… miss it.
But it’s not over yet, and for now I’m back to the books, did I mention that my Dissertation is due in a few weeks?
