Put In An Effort To Keep The Things You Love — Thanks Mom

You have to earn your keeps.

Your relationships with family and friends, your career and everything you want to keep in your life will not be handed to you.

Balancing everything that’s going on in your life is extremely difficult. Sometimes you lose track of the things that matter.

You get so busy with work that you neglect the people who simply want to see you and enjoy your company.

You get so busy with one set of friends that you lose touch with another set of friends. When they’re gone, you’ll always wonder why you drifted apart with them.

People like to say that sometimes, it’s just the way things are. They like to say people change, the distance was too much, they were walking two different roads in life.

Sure there’s truth in that, but have you taken responsibility for the things and people disappearing from your life?

Have you done everything you could have done to keep those you care about close to you? Have you done everything you could have done to chase after the things you want?

Have you ever reached out to the friend who used to be your best friend years ago? Have you ever reached out to your brother or sister, who you haven’t talked to in a long time? Have you sat down with your parents and talked with them about what’s been going on with your life and with their lives?

Ask yourself these questions about the people you lost contact with and the dreams you’ve abandoned. Ask yourself if it was just how the way things were, if it were the circumstances, and if you had no power over any of it.

If you regret losing them, and realize that you had even a tiny bit of control to stop people from leaving your life, take responsibility. Make sure you learn from those failures and apply the lessons to the relationships you have today. Make sure you don’t take anything for granted and prioritize the people you want around you.

You have to prioritize and decide who and what you want to keep in your life, and be willing to cut out the rest so you can focus your energy on the people who matter.

The Mother’s Wisdom

I was eating with my parents today, and my mom told me something that I feel will always stick with me. I had been telling her how hard it has been to balance between my friends and my independent ambitions.

I have a lot of things I want to achieve and I need a lot of time and silence to myself to get things done. I also want to hang out with friends and give them my full attention when I am with them too. Sometimes I can’t keep my promises with them, and sometimes I can’t keep my promises to myself.

I told her that I realized how hard it was to keep your close friends around you. I told her that I realized how much effort you have to put in to continuously text, call and meet them on a weekly basis.

And I definitely don’t want to be taking my friends for granted, but sometimes it gets tough to balance everything.

She listened silently, and through the loud sizzle of the Korean BBQ grilling on the stove, she told me that everything in life comes through effort. Nothing comes easily and nothing is handed to you. With this mindset, you will take responsibility and work hard to keep the important people and things in your life.

Now anyone can say this, but knowing how hard my parents work everyday to support me and keep a roof over my head, I knew she firmly believed what she told me. She knows anyone can talk about it, so she brings it to the table. She complains about being tired, but never gives up and does what she has to do.

She wishes that she could have lived another life, a more glamorous and comfortable life than the one she has lived, but she is never bitter about her experiences and is always grateful for what she has now because she has earned it all.

Through her efforts and selfless sacrifice as a mother, I have been continuously blessed all my life and I aspire to be as disciplined, loving and reliable as her.

Put Some Respeck On My Name

A lot of parents believe that just because they are older and are the parents, they deserve their children’s respect no matter what they say or do. Even if you are a parent, I believe that respect is always earned and never given. If you want your children to respect you, you have to talk, act and live as a respectable mother or father.

You can’t tell your kids to stop lying when they see you lying all the time. You can’t tell your kids to stop being lazy when they see you being lazy. You can’t coerce your kids to respect you with force or intimidation. That’s not respect. That’s fear on their end and insecurity on your end.

Kids aren’t stupid, and they catch their parents slipping up and being hypocrites all the time. They’ll one day realize that their parents are flawed, but will respect them more if the parents are self-aware and know that they are flawed, instead of acting like they’re perfect and omniscient.

Kids watch your actions and they watch you closely. They see if you embody your beliefs. They see if you are honest and trustworthy. You have to be extremely careful not to slip up too badly during their formative years, or they will construct a narrative that only sees the worst in you. You have to struggle to be true to yourself and to be an example for the kids who look up to you.

I respect my parents because whatever lessons they tell me, they have learned by experience.

They have learned that failure means growth. They have learned that discipline equals freedom. They have learned that you have to earn your keeps. They learned to only pay attention to the things they can control, and to put their heads down and work hard in their jobs.

They have abandoned a lot of their own ambitions and personal desires to support the family.

They could have gone different paths in life, living for themselves and not having to deal with annoying, needy and rebellious kids.

They could have traveled the world and lived comfortable lives if they didn’t have to take care of their kids.

They could have chased their own dreams, but instead they surrendered them to give us a shot to achieve ours.

And for that, I cannot thank them enough. There is nothing that I can do to repay them for the sacrifices they have given me. The only thing I can do is to thank and love them every single day, and pass on their love to the future generations.

The thing about a parent’s love is, it doesn’t only affect you. It touches every person through you. If your parents love and care for you, you are overflowing with their love and you are able to spread a little bit of joy to the next person. You can make the next person so happy that they decide to change their lives and spread their joy to the people they know.

So maybe if you haven’t talked to the people you care about most in this world in a while, you can give them a call or leave a nice text. It doesn’t hurt anyone to leave a nice message of appreciation. It takes a minute to make someone’s entire day.

Tell your parents how thankful you are and how much you value them. Tell your friends how thankful you are to have them in your life and how lucky you are.

People might cringe at this, but sometimes a verbal confirmation of your love can go a long way.

And it’s the least you can do for your mother, who you can’t ever repay. The least you can do is pass on their love and pay it forward.