Self-Orientation

Or rather — the selfish orientation week and how doing my best to do the best for the first-years meant a reflection on whether I’ve been doing the best for myself.

I have blisters on my toes and an odd set of tan lines that run just across my thighs because of mismatched, knee-high socks and shorts. I have bug bites and pimples due to overconsumption of sugar and other variations of unhealthy foods.

I have absolute, unadulterated love that blossoms inside me for the future and all there is to come. I have hope and joy and all other wonderful feelings bubbling just beneath the surface of my fatigue.

My week started on Saturday, bright and early, on the University of Waterloo campus. Prep day 1, or as I thought: the slow burn and steady easing into the mayhem that would follow. We were nervous about our team cheers, we were nervous about the state of our banner, but never once during the day did I feel particularly nervous about the reception we would receive from the wonderful first-years that would soon join our school community. It was only later that night as I got ready for the upcoming week of orchestrated chaos that I felt something settle inside of me — something that felt too much like guilt as I thought back to my own Orientation Week and what I thought of that experience.

As leaders you want your first years to have the smoothest, most enjoyable experience possible. At times it’s hard to reconcile that with the tight timelines and schedules that we should all be following in order to ensure maximum enjoyment. It’s a series of activities that involve a lot of yelling and cheering and turning your smile-o-meter on to level-100 at least so that first years crack a grin. It’s making sure that nobody is ever left out, left behind, or left in the shadows as they all get over their first day jitters.

For a first year — as calm and cool as they may appear — it’s so easy to get lost in the chaos. I recall feeling so nervous about my social etiquette and just thinking about all the things for which I was woefully unprepared. As a leader this year, I was so self-conscious of never being too demanding of a first year. It was defining that line between being enthusiastically encouraging and being too enthusiastically forceful.

Watching students mingle with each other and discover common interests, goals, and programs made me think of everything I’ve experienced and every person I’ve encountered leading up to this moment. As I lay in bed, I’ve been thinking about how these students will have the next few years to look forward to. A common fear during the Orientation activities was the fear of getting lost on the way to class. I can’t even remember when I stopped needing a map and started just intuitively knowing where all buildings are on campus. I can’t remember when I started memorizing bus stop numbers and locations. Another question: Good food? I can’t even remember how I compiled my own personal list of great places to eat in the area. Did I ask somebody — an Orientation Leader maybe? Did somebody just tell me? Experience?

Well I’ll tell you: all of the above.

We’re all as strong as the experiences that shape us. I’ve found that my time in Waterloo flew by quickly with the help of extracurriculars, strong friendships, and settling into the community of University of Waterloo students. The key word is community and how to be a citizen of this community. I’ve been able to seize a bunch of amazing opportunities, sure, but my experience of Waterloo has only been enhanced exponentially by the ways I’ve involved myself in the community.

I’ve been so stressed about law school, my impending LSAT and just everything else that I was nervous about Orientation Week hindering my studying. As I edited photos that I took as a personal token of my experience, I saw such vibrant colours and unending supplies of enthusiasm captured within those photos. I knew then that this experience could never be a hindrance.

How fitting it is that the theme is EXPEDITION. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more ready to leave the world of the undergraduate and enter something new, exciting, and potentially scary. As I gazed out at all the first years assembled, I felt three things: gratitude, determination, hope. Gratitude for the people I’ve met; determination to make these last eight months the best eight months I could ever hope for; hope that the future is as bright as I think it will be for these wonderful first years, for everybody I know, and for myself.

Hey, one last thing before I go…

So — welcome and we hope you feel at home, I thought. “Have an amazing first year!” was what we yelled out as they left the Arts Quad. We can do our best to answer questions and reassure you that there really isn’t too much to worry about, but everybody kind of finds their own way in the end.

There are so many things that I want to tell you (read: myself in first year) and so many things that you’ll feel over these four or five or however many years here at the University of Waterloo and no single piece of advice will ever capture the individual experience and shared memories that a student makes. There is no telling the kind of home a student will make for themselves and that’s all part of the great adventure, isn’t it?

If I had to whittle it down to just one regret, it’d be that I didn’t opt to become an Orientation Week Leader sooner. Regardless, I am a firm believer of the “better late than never” mentality and I’m glad I took that leap.

I suppose O-Week isn’t technically over and there’s still so much to do and this sentimentality is probably a bit premature. Our one-on-one time with our team has come to close however, and I am excited to see them live their best life.

School starts today and I’ve never felt better about a term. I’m looking forward to my last 8 months as an undergraduate student and I’m excited for what this year will bring. I feel oddly enough — or perhaps not odd at all — like a first-year, strumming with a kind of nervous energy that will eventually ease out into an unprecedented determination.

And off we go.

All photography by me.