Stop Self-humiliating

2 weeks ago, I changed my class from ‘General English’ to ‘IETLS’. and also level. In general english class, we just played game, studied grammar that kinds of things. But since I changed the class, everything is totally different. There was no one that I knew because I spent around 4months in same level(but not the same class).

Anyway what I want to say, I was ashamed about my score. I got less or only about half score. It was the worst grade in my class. When the teacher checked my score, I didn’t know what I had to do because I didn’t want my classmate hear my grade and also I didn’t want I mind about saying my score. And finally my teacher didn’t ask me my score. So I thought ‘ah, she doesn’t want my score becasue it is awful.’.(But actually it was not that reason) My first week in new class was like that, the next is coming.

Surprisingly, I do well, better than last week. Maybe it’s because of repetitve study. I was not familiar with solving the questions in specific time. I did that 5days and I do notice how to do that kinds of stuff. I have 4~5 points more than before and my teacher give me smile and say ‘GREAT!’. OMG! Since that week, even my grade is not good, she tried to say ‘great’, ‘well done’.

On second thoughts, she was kind in my first week. I just didn’t want to think she did. Perhaps I humiliated myself. To fill guilty about my score. It works if I did this for improving my score. But self-humiliating makes people feel deserted. The first week in new class was very stressful days. and teacher too. So for my life, don’t humiliate myself.(But If I need progress…)