When did RULE become a four letter word?

“I’ve never seen a group of kids that wasn’t out of control.”

Said the 40-something leader of a kids’ ministry a few years ago, during a conversation about why rules are “restrictive” and “don’t work.” His logic? “Kids will be kids and they’re always going to be out of control.”

And guess what? Kids at this leader’s church were bouncing off the walls. Sunday morning was a noisy free-for-all which left everyone frustrated—including the kids.

There’s a reason the NFL has strict penalties for unnecessary roughness. The rules of football are designed to protect players, encourage good sportsmanship and and create a culture where unnecessary roughness is NOT OK.

On the gridiron and at church, the purpose of rules is to keep everyone safe. Rules are not intended to punish, restrict or spoil anyone’s fun. In fact, good rules and boundaries do just the opposite.

• Good rules help kids have more fun. Yes, it’s true — kids actually appreciate boundaries if they are fair and if everyone is held to the same standard of accountability. Boundaries and rules are not about restriction, they are about freedom.
• Good rules help kids thrive in an environment where they feel safe—not just physically safe, but emotionally safe. Because the leaders are in control, kids are less likely to be overwhelmed by chaos, bullied, taken advantage of or left out.
• Good rules teach self control. Self control is something which can be taught, learned, acquired and practiced. As Christians, we recognize godly self control as a fruit of the Spirit — a divine quality which comes from God. But for this (or any) spiritual fruit to be developed in our lives, we must cooperate. We cannot do whatever we want because there are others to be served and interests beyond our own. Good rules help kids to think before acting, control impulses, weigh consequences and make safe, acceptable choices (at church and in life).
• Good rules free up kids to be themselves. Within boundaries, kids are free to try new things because they aren’t afraid of failure or ridicule. Church should be a place where every person is appreciated, respected and celebrated for his/her individuality.
• Good rules are simple, clear and enforceable. A few rules which can be enforced consistently are better than lots of rules which are enforced erratically. Try implementing the following GOD Rules this week and see what happens:

G — Give the speaker your full attention.

O — Only say good things.

D — Don’t be a space invader.

In the end, most good rules boil down to one thing: R-E-S-P-E-C-T, for oneself, for others and for God. And that’s a lesson that can benefit anyone, anyplace, any time. Why not start at church?