How to live a successful life.
Hint: There is no successful life at all.
YouTube Video title: How I Became a Millionaire from Investing in Stocks!!
When watching the video, did you feel that your life till now has just been another bag of Cheetos waiting to be disposed of in the rubbish bin? (not even the recycling bin, mind you)
Well, most authors/content creators would ask you to kick out your laptop/phone/Kindle/ Baby Shark plushies by now and follow the tips below.
I won't do that.
Because the popular concept of a 'successful life' itself is a hickle. This content can be discouraging and shallow, often needing a situational perspective for the viewers involved. The shallowness is derived from the example-driven pointers usually given. These videos don't make you a millionaire. They are generally vague approaches, like investing in the S&P 500 or starting your own business. They often re-direct you to an endless loop of self-improvement videos or articles, wasting your precious time. This would lead to unhealthy comparisons and discouragement, as you still lack the direction to lead a successful life. So, is our interpretation of success flawed?
Sucessful is a superlative term. It's often used for comparison to something. Surely, the definition points out the highest form of life you can ever experience, but how do you know if that life will pan out how you want it to be? You are not Doc Brown.
What if Doc Brown says there is a life where you work under your local insurance company, earn four digits a month, and barely have any vacation? Yet, you are happier than when you are a gymmer/hustler/ independent businessman of your 'hidden passions'? What if Doc Brown says that you were the President of the USA even though you had no dreams of it and would lead a better life than the CEO of Apple? Veering into the future to think about success in the first place is natural but unhealthy.
These expectations from other articles are as healthy as your fantasies with Henry Cavill or Emma Watson. So, here I will offer you tips on habits to lead your life, not tips to jolt you to "success".
Tip 1: Don't do what you love; do what you are good at.
The most common tip you will ever find for success is that you must pursue your passions. What if your passions/hobbies are all sexually oriented? Should you become a famous prostitute/pornstar? There in there, an ethical conundrum jumps out of hell.
My example may be exaggerated, but my point still stands. Most of us never know what we love or not. We are instantly attracted by certain activities that appeal to us immediately. That could be sports, sex, consistent stimulation such as pleasure-eating or substance abuse. The second tier of attraction is more traditional, like reading or indulging in the arts, a hobby that needs more time to develop. But what if you are more interested in fencing than writing, but you were turned off by the effort and discipline required for it? For all we know, you may appreciate the suave manoeuvres once you master it or the uses it may have for defence. So blindly following our passions is a relatively bullish manner to look at life. Remember, we only have one chance at it.
Instead of pursuing what attracts us, we must pursue whatever we are good at. What do I mean by that?
Imagine you are a writer and chose to become one because you like reading books and have a vivid imagination. However, your command of English/ native language is limited. You put in effort every day to master English by reading more books and watching over 8 hours of tutorials on YouTube from Abbie Emmons. Only after a year you managed to write a novel successfully. It may be a heartwarming story, but there's a twist: You are an expert in cooking. You didn't pursue cooking because it's not attractive enough for you then, yet becoming a chef is a lot more probable than becoming the New York Times bestseller. Over that one year, you could have joined culinary schools, working in restaurants and who knows? The next Gordon Ramsay may be staring in front of our eyes. You will achieve more in what you are good at rather than something you love for the sake of it because it will give you less stress, and you will find it easier to learn that skill you are an expert in.
The reason I'm saying this is that I was that writer. I have always been fascinated with the sciences and engineering, so I wanted to pursue a degree. However, regardless of the amount of effort or a change of strategies, I could not improve the margins I expected. Patience is a virtue, understandably, but only until a certain point. I'm at a crossroads; entering my 20s and making a wrong decision will forever haunt my career's progress. Instead, I chose to pursue writing and the pure arts as the alternative route, as I realised my most vital subject in school was Literature, followed by physics and Mathematics.
I picked up writing much faster than expected, and here I am writing this article and a couple of other novels.
I am getting nearly 30 weekly followers; I have submitted a short story to a writing competition with high hopes of success. Steve Jobs essentially reinforces the same point if kept in context:
Of course, my situation is unique, as I have not hastily left engineering for the arts, but it's a fallback option now, which leads to the second point.
Tip 2: Wait to commit 100% till that path is visible.
When you have committed to mastery over a specific discipline, do not abandon any other pathways still open to you.
You must also account for the possibility that your intended level of interests/ strengths can still fail. So, if you are currently studying as a lawyer, even though you are more interested in becoming a pop singer, continue studying until a window of opportunity opens when a talent agent hires you. Even if your call-up comes before graduation, complete that first and then pursue your talents aggressively, as a private firm can still hire you even if you fail to make it to the industry.
Have there been celebrities that became successful with a Bachelor’s degree? Of course.
Enter Rowan Atkinson.
He completed his MSc in Electrical Engineering at Oxford before acting in a one-off pilot episode (called Canned Laughter) for the London Weekend Television in 1979. Imagine if he failed. Even though we would lose this man,
At least he will be the director of operations at Mini.
Rowan is just one key example. The likes of Natalie Portman, Ashton Kutcher and so on did the same. Your mastery of passions/strengths is different from your success. Observe the ongoing writers' strike at SAG-AFTRA, with thousands of screenwriters being underpaid for sculpting the Elevens and Spongebobs we love dearly. Sooner or later, many of these studios will resort to ghostwriters or AI.
Our world is highly unfair, so it's sheer stupidity to invest all of your time developing these areas of passion/strengths when you can give your life a second chance by completing a journeyman qualification that can feed you well.
Tip 3: Don't listen to everyone blindly.
Yes, that includes me.
The media's purpose is still as hazy as ever. Since the first papers darted out from Germany in 1605, most newspapers and magazines often discuss the socio-political situations domestically (and internationally at a later period) and also how to drink a cup of Americano. Why do I care? All I need to know is whether the job market is stable or my stocks are in good condition. What can I do if Kim Jong-Un lands his missiles on us? I'm helpless. Some research has backed up that media-caused paranoia can develop in patients. Others have shown that prolonged exposure to news can cause depression and other disorders. The irrelevance of news outside domestic affairs and lifestyle habits has plagued our outlooks on the essential matters of life. Because of the current information overload, we cannot make decisions for ourselves, relying on tabloids and underqualified celebrities like puppets.
Andrew Tate is the most prominent example of this. As a youth in his target demographic, Tate is the man most commonly appearing in my feed on various Social Media sites. His abrasive advocations for the 'alpha male' and the desperate attempts to use misogyny and violence to justify self-improvement claims have only seen praise from most of my peers.
Besides, most media outlets started as agenda strongholds for governments, and they still stay this way, only becoming autonomous these days. Many media agencies are not the voices of the truth you expect them to hear. Search FOX News, and you will get your answer.
Absorb the information you are in pursuit of with a pinch of salt.
Imagine you are looking for how prolonged media exposure can deprive your mental health, as you want to improve your mental health to pursue your dreams. Do your research by following these steps:
- Look for reliable sources. Don't dig up articles from a blog or even a reputed media house — such websites often condense the information or even weave their narratives that can distort the history at hand. Look out for published research websites (like Springer) or the official associations/organisations involved with your line of research (e.g. in this case, search for the American Psychological Association).
- Don't just stop by searching websites that support the viewpoint that prolonged media exposure declines mental health. Search for the opposing sides, too. Usually, these sources also address misconceptions about the current views on these issues.
- Don’t accept or search for sources that are ten years or older. Often, research would have gone leaps and bounds by then.
- Look for books about Psychology with reputed authors. Read the Red Book by Carl Jung or read a recent essay from Jordan B. Peterson. From there, narrow your range to an author who is an expert on media and mental health. Often, you can find them by referring to the footnotes in the book by these famous authors, as they would have used them for research.
- Interviews with experts are another great way of absorbing the facts you need to know. Make sure the publishing house is reputable. If the interview is recorded, ensure the channel it was recorded in is reputed for quality content.
These tips have helped me not only search for relevant content but also avoid the pathological world news as a whole. It has also refined my ability to research the correct strategies to pursue my interests/passions, preventing confusion and betrayals when some systems don't work out.
Remember, success is not overnight, and while I didn't tackle essential pointers like small goals and the reward system whenever you accomplish something, you can find these articles online (but remember my filtration system!). I hope some of these tips have ensured that your ideas of success are more refined.
Remember No.2, success can only be defined by you. What other people tell are only some pointers that worked out for them. Go in with a cynical attitude when researching and improving, and you will only feel disappointed occasionally.
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