I’ll see you again

Last year when I started my last year in secondary school, I decided that I’d like to continue my studies in the UK. Since then, I’ve applied to the chosen universities and they have successfully accepted my application. I had long conversations with my parents about it and I finally persuaded them to let me go. This was my first step to make my dream come true.

This was almost a month ago and in the past few past weeks, we’ve been telling this goal of mine to my family. Until it wasn’t 100% that I can go, I didn’t want to tell anyone. Their first reaction was always amazement. I try to answer their questions and explain to them that I can’t live with my parents forever and I have to be independent. I understand that they don’t want me to go away, but I would have moved to another city anyway. The next 5–10 minutes are about what am I going to do there alone and how can I go so far away. They want me to stay here, but I can’t and they have to understand my decision. Usually, the conversation ends with this and they move onto another topic.

I was thinking about this yesterday. A return plane ticket to London is 40 thousand Hungarian Forints (about 100£). That’s cheap compared to the prices 5–10 years ago. I’ll come back during the breaks and I’ll spend that time with them. The only change to them will be that they won’t see me when they visit my parents or vice versa.

The main point why I want to study in the UK is that the Hungarian system is broken. It’s not working and the government won’t solve it this summer. The other reason is that I haven’t heard any positive reviews about the university where I wanted to study 4–5 years ago. These things were enough for me to leave this country.

Some advice if you would like to study abroad, but your parents don’t really support you:

1. Make a nice presentation

If you write down everything starting from how will you travel to the university and ending with the basic finances (cost per week), you have better chances to get their attention. It also helps, if you make a short summary about the universities to which you would like to send your application. If they see that you did your research, they will do theirs.

2. After you replied your offers, make a detailed presentation

You’ve got your firm and insurance choice and you’ll probably study at your firm choice, now you have to plan everything. This is the most difficult part. You have to get an accommodation, apply for the tuition loan, buy the plane tickets and so on. Your parents can’t help you because they won’t be there for you when you need to do your paperwork. That’s why you have to tell them that you know everything and you can do this by yourself.

3. Answer their questions every time

I had to answer the same questions over and over, but it didn’t matter. The point is to teach them everything you know. It’ll be a different country of which they don’t know anything. If they are more familiar with the country where you’d like to continue your studies, they won’t be afraid of it.

4. Keep them up-to-date

Tell them about everything that you’ve read. Show them where you’ll go, how you’ll travel. This will help them understand you and they won’t be that afraid of your adventure.

5. Don’t go offensive

When you first tell them that you want to study abroad, the won’t let you. You shouldn’t shout at/blackmail them. If this is what you want, you have to be patient. It took me 3 months to persuade them to let me study in the UK. First, they didn’t let me go, but I’d applied anyway. When I got my first offer, they started thinking about it. Then I got 2 more and one of them was from my dream university. I talked with them about it every week and I didn’t let them forget it. With patience, you’ll reach your goal.

6. Finances…

This will be their first question. If the university doesn’t have a tuition fee, then you’re fine. However, in England, it costs 9000£ every year. This makes it even harder, but England has a tuition loan option. You only have to pay it back, when you have a job. I had to speak about this every time when we talked about studying abroad. Tuition fee is not the only thing that costs a lot. Accommodation is the second most expensive cost and you also have to predict the amount of money that you’ll spend on food, entertainment and travelling. Luckily, you can find estimates on the university’s page which will help a lot.

I’m really lucky that I got a lot of help. I have a good friend who helped me with my application and answered a lot of my questions. She is one of the main reasons, why I finished my personal statement and applied to the universities. I’m also glad that my parents support me. It was hard to persuade them, but they realised that this will be the best option for me. I still have a lot of things to do before I could start my studies and without their help, I wouldn’t be able to study abroad.

“If something is important enough, even if the odds are against you, you should still do it.” – Elon Musk

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