How #metoo made me sit alone in the corner
It all started in October 2017. One tweet started a real avalanche. #MeToo was popularized by American actress Alyssa Milano, who encouraged other women to talk about their experiences regarding sexual harassment. The result was incredible. As NY Times and CBS News reported, 12 million posts on Facebook and 500 thousands tweets in the first 24 hours. Suddenly, this hashtag was on everyone’s lips.
Since then, thousand and thousands of stories have been shared on social media and the general reception is incredibly positive. Most people pointed out that it’s terrible that for years the problem was invisible, and in case of Hollywood — accepted and swept under the carpet, that it’s good that both women and men are finally talking about it loudly.
There is, however, a vast number of people reacting differently. When I talked to my colleagues, many were surprised by the scale of sexual harassment, many undermined it, claiming that it may be a problem in Hollywood, but not in their daily life. Many were not aware that they were subject to sexual harassment, too. “Have you ever felt bad touch? Felt uncomfortable due to someone else’s behaviour? Had to cope with an obtrusive guy in the club that did not accept no as an answer?”. Unfortunately, many said “Yes”.
Also, unfortunately, many of them were too afraid to oppose these behaviours loudly and definitely (including me), which made me realize that #metoo movement may not only overwhelm with horrific stories, but may also contribute to the change of women’ way of thinking. Of course I do not assume that all women are unable to resist; often they scream and fight, often unsuccessfully. But sometimes women are too afraid to react, to say no, while this resistance may stop the unwanted behaviour or sexual intercourse.
And then, while I was thinking about the potential of #metoo movement, I started to read comments. And it was like a punch in the face.
Last week, seven months after #metoo went viral, there appeared alarming reports concerning Morgan Freeman. I checked the comments. Nothing changed.
“Soon, if a guy says “good morning”, he will be accused of abuse or rape”
“Let’s not lose our heads, girls. After all, we enjoy when men are attracted to us, provided we are not gay… What’s the point of dressing up and looking sexy, if nobody notices it?”
“It’s their own decisions to take career shortcuts, and later they say they were raped or abused”
“It seems to me that being a victim of sexual harassment is currently a way to promote yourself”
“Honestly? I feel sorry for these Hollywood guys right now, everyone is suddenly accused of sexual harassment. Whores (because it is impossible to call them in any other way) take the opportunity to be famous for a moment and get rich quickly”
“In my opinion, this is a theater of hypocrisy. I do not believe in the sanctity of these women”
“Women wear deep neckline tops, entire tits on the sight, they provoke like hell, and they’re surprised that guys cannot stop themselves”
Punch in the face №1: all these comments were written by women (on Polish websites, in this case).
Punch in the face №2: these are just a few examples. The majority of comments look similar.
Punch in the face №3: these were comments below the article concerning Morgan Freeman’s sexual comments and lifting dresses of female co-workers. Nothing about what they wore. Nothing about who they were. Why these commenters felt the need to offend these women, to offend all women in general?
After a dozens of comments, I have lost my enthusiasm, as well as my faith in humanity. Some solidarity? Some empathy? Nope? Nothing?
(To be honest, every ten or fifteen comments I could find some voice of reason, but it was not enough).
I tend to keep revelations concerning sexual harassment of subsequent actors or musicians in perspective, because until it is proven — nothing is certain. However, as it is visible on examples provided above, these news evoke enormous emotions in many people and provoke discussion about the behaviour and role of women. I found it extremally sad that in 2018 women still believe that they are to be sexual objects, they are to be admired by men; that they cannot wear whatever they want, because they provoke. I still have leftovers of hope that maybe women would slowly start to change their ways of thinking — when it comes to resistance to unwanted behaviour, as well as perception of women rights and roles.
