Why don’t you have a boyfriend?
I get asked a lot why don’t you have a boyfriend? I used to respond with I don’t know depending on who is asking I will say I prefer being single. But that is just a cover up for what I really want to say. I have found that boys don’t want to date a sick cancer patient. Being a bald cancer ‘freak’ is a huge turn off. So for the last few years I have just stopped looking. I didn’t find myself attractive so what boy was going to find a sick bald girl attractive.
When I first found out I had cancer I had a “boyfriend” our relationship didn’t last long because as soon as he found out I had cancer he stopped talking to me. Now that I have all my hair back guys will come up to me and call me pretty and ask me out on a date. But as soon as they get to know me or find out I have cancer they are suddenly not interested. So what is the big deal?
Maybe I am going about this all wrong. According to the Fault In Our Stars being a depressed cancer patient is the best way to score a hot boyfriend. But her Boyfriend also has cancer so maybe I’m not looking in the right market. Is there a dating site out there for young adults with cancer looking for love? For some reason I feel like that wouldn’t go over very well. Am I limited to dating with in the cancer pool now? If that’s true if we ever have kids their gene pool would be so messed up,for having two parents with cancer.
Since the problem is when I tell interested prospects that I have cancer, but I can’t just lie to them. Sometimes when I meet new people I don’t tell them about my cancer right away but one look online and they will find out. I don’t think that keeping cancer a secret is a good idea. Does that mean I’m meant to be single for the rest of my life? I hope not. Not saying I don’t like being single I do, but I don’t like the fact that cancer is the reason I can’t get a date.
What is so scary about cancer? Is it the treatment? Or dying? Or loosing your hair? Your appearance changing? The side effects? I get the whole dying thing, why invest in a relationship with a person who could potentially die soon, but the thing is everyone dies. No one makes it out of this life alive so why does it matter if I have a disease that may kill me. I could also be it by a bus tomorrow, no one knows when we are going to die so why should that be a problem? I realize most people don’t have the same view point on death that I do. Cancer can be scary. Death can be scary. But only if we let it. The more you know about something the less scary it becomes.
