From the Staff ~ Chelsea Donahue
I have always been pretty bad at small talk. I’m usually more comfortable revealing my deepest insecurities or talking about someone’s trauma history than chit chatting about the weather or sports, or whatever you’re supposed to answer when someone asks “How are you?!” This is probably why I choose to spend my evenings doing stand up comedy.
This is maybe also why I feel at home working at Stupid Cancer. Our community is refreshingly free of small talk. Not that survivors and caregivers don’t want to complain about the weather or gossip about reality TV — sometimes that’s all ya wanna do — but there’s a really freeing ability to just say the truth.
“Today sucks.”
“I’m feeling awful.”
“This jerk in the grocery line just said the DUMBEST thing to me and I almost screamed at him.”
I’ve always been blunt, so I appreciate the Real Talk that flourishes in the AYA cancer community. But this job has definitely not made it any easier for me to navigate small talk at dinner parties.
“What do you do?”
“I work for Stupid Cancer.”
“Huh?”
I learned pretty quickly to say, “I work for a nonprofit called Stupid Cancer that supports young adults with cancer.” The usual response is people get quiet and nod their heads wisely. Sometimes I’ll add that if they were diagnosed tomorrow, Stupid Cancer would be the place to turn to. People usually change the subject pretty quickly after that. Told you I was bad at small talk.
But I think it’s important to be blunt and to talk about things openly. I certainly hope that my new acquaintence won’t be diagnosed…but it’s also not uncommon for someone to tell me about a loved one who should be part of the Stupid Cancer community. We need to speak loudly and clearly — so people know that they are not alone in AYA cancer. So they can find this amazing community that I’m so honored to serve.
In the year and a half that I’ve worked for Stupid Cancer as Program Manager, I’ve felt so lucky to make real connections and friendships with members of our community. Attending CancerCon last April was like a giant hug from family members I hadn’t met yet. As I continue to speak with and meet more folks from across the country, I’m inspired by this incredible AYA cancer family. Most people don’t choose to join, but I’m proud to be a part of it.
If you have big ideas or suggestions for how we can better serve our community, please send me a note at cdonahue@stupidcancer.org. Or just say hello…even if you’re only looking for a little small talk. ;)
