My 12-year Cancer Anniversary: A moment of reflective gratitude and realization of what I want to be when I grow up.

I just realized it is 12 years ago today, that I had my first surgery. Just two months before our wedding, I had open-heart surgery at NYU Medical Center to remove a grapefruit-sized Thymoma (a rare thymus gland cancer) from under my sternum.

What an incredibly scary time! I didn’t want to die, I had so much to live for! I already had a second surgery planned for thirty days later, on my 31st birthday, to remove several tumors on my diaphragm and pleura (lining of my lung). In this uncertain and terrifying time, my wonderful finance, Steve, stood strong by my side, never once faltering. My wonderful mom, my sisters, family, friends, colleagues and Church community came from near and far to take care of me, just be with me, pray with me and love me.

“You are 1 of 1, the doctors told me. You can do this. We have a plan and we will get you married on time.” I was so scared, absolutely frightened to the core of my being. I cried and cried and prayed and prayed to survive this, to get married to my soul mate, to please, please God, one day have a baby.

Now, here we are! (Almost) 12 years of marriage later, three healthy children, two 9 year old boys and a 1 year old daughter, a wonderful home and inspiring career. It has been an adventure to say the least, one that seems to be ever changing with plenty of ups and downs including big challenges and victories — two marathons and two half-marathons. Two recurrences and a pneumonia in 2009 - all three requiring surgery, and a third recurrence just six months ago, when I found a lump in my neck. Surgery #6 was scheduled last September, followed by CyberKnife radiation and again, I am proud to say I am cancer free. Phew! As I write, it is hard to believe, although, I know it is all true.

As I sit here and reflect, I am filled with with such an enormous sense of gratitude, I am brought to tears. However, this time, I am am so grateful I am crying instead of so scared. My overwhelming gratitude is for all of my amazing doctors and nurses, specifically my surgeons. I am eternally grateful for my husband, Steve, my children, family and friends who have taken care of me over the past 12 years during surgeries, chemo, radiation, recovery… Without them, I wouldn’t be here to write today.

I am so grateful for my health and for my life! Thank you God! Thank you everyone for always being there for me! Thank you for believing in me, rooting for me during those down times and for celebrating all of life’s victories with me. Happy Anniversary and CHEERS to 12 years! Oh, and I know what I want to be when I grow up - a Grandmother.

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