Story from the Community by: Oncology Social Worker Bethany Davis

February 21, 2020

“Wow, that must be really depressing”

When I tell people I’m an Oncology Social Worker, a lot of people tend to bring up the sad parts of working with individuals with cancer, or try to relate to my work by telling me “that sucks”, or somehow tying in movies like ‘A Walk to Remember’ or 50/50, where the actor, Joseph Gordon-Levitt is a journalist and undergoes treatment for cancer of the spine. They’re trying to relate to my work, but it isn’t always accurate.

I think people would be taken back if I told them the truth of my experience as a social worker. The resilience of the human spirit blows me away every time, and it is what keeps me coming back to work every day.

If you can picture me walking through my clinic, you might be surprised to find that sometimes I experience insecurity and routine anxiety when I am about to walk into a treatment room to meet with an individual to conduct an assessment. Don’t say the wrong thing, don’t talk too little or say too much, remember to ask about support at home…… my list goes on and on in my head

When I’m about to walk in, I am nervous because I don’t want to mess up, or sound condescending when I’m trying to provide support, especially if they happen to be a young adult, like me. I don’t want them to think I’m pretending to fully understand what they’re experiencing, because I don’t. I don’t know what exactly to say sometimes if I’m being honest. I don’t know how to form my dialogue all the time, or know what they want to hear. A lot of the time I think, Do I even know what I’m doing?

Lately, a strange sensation, this energy has been stopping me dead in my tracks. It has been occurring when these phrases are spoken inside the treatment room, coming up in conversation with individuals:

“I’m going to keep on…was planning on climbing St. Helens next Summer with my wife and I’m not changing those plans”.

“People don’t seem to get that I’m more than this cancer diagnosis….I’m actually writing my 6th book’”.

“Oh I’m good….I’ve been through worse, haha, trust me”.

When this type of dialogue is spoken out into the room, everything changes for me.

I’m not thinking about what I’m doing for you as a social worker, my lack of experience or trying to remember what I was going to say in the first place, or what I need to document. When an individual begins to speak out loud their drive and their willingness to show up in order to continue to fight, a whole different energy in the room seems to show up. My agenda is completely shut down, nothing else matters at the moment.

My insecurities, agenda, my schedule, my busy day at the clinic, all of it seems to quiet down when I experience that energy. The inner push, that fight, is a piece of being human and a part of humanity that we all share. Some of us have more of it than others, but it’s there. The proof that we are alive, kicking and screaming, thriving. My eyes have seen so much resilience interwoven in the human spirit and the parts of people come alive when someone is fighting cancer.

I wonder if we as a society lack knowledge or truth about the resilience, strength and individuality of people that have cancer. Hollywood can sometimes lack stories that portray characters with cancer that experience strength, self-discovery and empowerment on their own, creativity or individuality.

I meet with individuals at my clinic that talk to me about what they’ve been doing during the week. They’re taking classes, raising kids, meeting up for coffee with friends, working full time, exercising, volunteering. Some of them are even working full time in medical settings, the same settings they receive treatment in. They’re setting out to climb their mountains and living in the strength of who they are.

Today when I think about the people I get to work with, I don’t picture them as victims or people that are lacking something. I see complex humans, with complex emotions that are unwilling to give in to the fight with a diagnosis that they refuse to let take them down. I’ve seen those that are up for the fight, and they will get up swinging.

To say ‘I am inspired’ is an understatement. What keeps me coming to work every day is the sheer fact that I get the opportunity to meet face to face with people who will not give up. Period.

That is a gift to witness. And there is nothing depressing about that. If they are up for the fight, so am I.