The Power of Community by Alli Ward

com·mu·ni·ty (n) : a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.

It was always the next step - that simple act of placing one foot in front of the other - that filled my mind when those thoughts; the never-ending cycle of questions, the what-ifs, and what-nexts, swirled around in my head. But for the first time in a long time I had a community of voices whose support followed me wherever I climbed.

“I never wanted my friends or family to get what I was going through because that would have meant that they too had cancer.”

Let me go back. I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at 35 and no one ‘got it’. But that’s okay. I never wanted my friends or family to get what I was going through because that would have meant that they too had cancer. In order to get this, you have to ‘walk the walk’.

At some point, I built a buffer around myself. Sometimes you need to protect yourself and focus on you first. I no longer allowed people to longingly look at me and ask how I was feeling, or force me to pray for an answer when I could not even begin to figure out the question. I lost some friends because of the buffer but that was, and continues to be, okay.

“I lost some friends because of the buffer but that was, and continues to be, okay.”

Four years later, I went to OMG 2011 in New York and met my Stupid Cancer community. I will never forget the feeling of walking into a room and not having to introduce myself as my diagnosis. For the first time, I didn’t have to explain how I felt; my fears, my anger, or hope, I was surrounded by people who innately understood.

“For the first time, I didn’t have to explain how I felt … I was surrounded by people who innately understood.”

After OMG 2012 in Las Vegas, while I was facing my ‘what-nexts’, I embarked on Allipalooza, a ten-day adventure to National Parks and campgrounds. I was looking to find what living meant to me now.

I remember leaving OMG 2012 to go on this adventure, which was meant to be something I did alone, with an overpowering feeling of togetherness and friendship.

“I was looking to find what living meant to me now.”

In my thoughts, I brought my community with me as I hiked the trails in Bryce National Park and slept in the back of my kick-ass camper van. I had a community of understanding beside me as I adventured the Grand Canyon and was awed by the sunsets in Zion National Park.

My ‘next’ led me to work for the organization that gave me my people.

As the EVP, Chief Program Officer at Stupid Cancer I cannot begin to describe the feeling of seeing the ‘next me’ find their community.

“At CancerCon, I get to watch the creation of friendships and the introduction of unending support.”

At CancerCon, I get to watch the creation of friendships and the introduction of unending support. It is my mission to make CancerCon a safe place to be exactly who you are in that very moment without the pretense of being okay. It is my goal to make CancerCon a place where cancer no longer has to be your personal introduction.

These people get it. They have walked that walk and are here to offer you a hand, a laugh, a suggestion, a shoulder, and a tip.

“…a place where cancer no longer has to be your personal introduction.”

Follow Stupid Cancer and CancerCon on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter for the next several weeks as we share ‘pro-tips’ from the people who have been there and understand without you needing to explain.

Look around. These are your people.