Death and American Society- Why Do We Fear It?
When did death become something for Americans to dread every day of their lives?
Americans are known for their go-getter, rough them up, take victory attitude. The culture of the United States lies in the power of the individual, the might of one person against the world, as is proliferated by various media (including ones where we are portrayed as saving the day). As such, it is reasonable to conclude that death would be viewed as profoundly “un-American,” since it is the cessation of existence and the ultimate “defeat” of the self. Yet, before now, death was not feared as much. While in some cases death is indeed morbid, why do we as a people fear it so much in the United States, when in other countries it is both respected and celebrated in festivities? For example, the Latin American Dia de las Muertos (The Day of the Dead), has become popular due to its beauty. When did death become taboo in American society? What have others done about it? Have we come closer to accepting it in recent years?
The place to start is with how death developed in the society of the United States. At first, like most other societies, America seemed to be far more familiar with death. According to stories by news sites Undark and PBS.org, the concept of death was not feared up until the American Civil War. House funerals — a process in which the deceased are cleaned, dressed, and cared for by their family, which is also accompanied by the family performing a viewing, mass, and even a burial in a predesignated property — were the norm. In fact, the living rooms we have now were once made with not only fanciful purpose but the intent of displaying the dead. As the PBS synopsis of its “A Family Undertaking” episode of Point of View, “Prior to the Civil War, caring for and preparing the dead for burial on family farms or in local cemeteries was both a domestic skill and a family responsibility.”
However, when the Civil War struck death became so common that the need for somebody else to take the stage began to take root. Thus, the position of “undertaker” — a funeral director — came to be. The purpose of an undertaker was to do what the family used to do: embalming, burial, and other funeral responsibilities. They would take care of everything having to do with funerals. This, in turn, took out the intimate time one could spend with their deceased loved ones, and instead left people to brood and think of death in a more negative way. According to Joanna Ebenstein, the woman who founded the now-defunct Morbid Anatomy Museum in 2014, “Death became distant to us, and we continued to push it further away, until it became an even more terrifying mystery.” In short, we ended up becoming so distant from death that it became well and truly alien. We no longer gave death our time of day, and simply rid ourselves of our deceased family members only a while before the undertaker would take them away to clean them up, put them in a casket, and help have them buried in some part of land to never be seen again beyond looking at them.
As a result, this contributed to the loss of intimacy. Now, death is extremely foreign. The rise of the “independent” and power of the “individual” has become massive in scope and scale, causing it to be a value of American society as a whole. This can even be seen in popular media and films, where often an individual is struggling to escape an admittedly dull and horrible society where homogeneousness is heavily encouraged, and instead strives to stand out and be unique. They defy norms because it is better to be an individual than to be one with the crowd. This in turn encourages us to stand out, alongside numerous ad campaigns and the like. Unlike our fictional heroes, however, we die eventually. Movies end frozen in time unless fans choose to move the story forward or sequels are made. Only then do they “die,” and the aftermath is rarely shown. If we die it is over, period. We have no moment where time is frozen. We just have a finale.
Some may argue that death isn’t feared anymore, as the media is filled with death daily. However, the contexts in which this news is shown as nothing but negative. Murders, car crashes, and industrial accidents fill our news every single day. One simply needs to browse and/or turn on the television to the news reporting another shooting, another robbery, another update on armed conflict in the Middle East. We are surrounded by violence, and it comes at us in most haunting ways. In video games there is plenty of death, but they tend to feature several scenes where it is clearly shown to be a very unpleasant experience. Some even show the brutal torment of certain kinds of death, such as poison gas and mutilation (Black Ops II, Mortal Kombat; respectively). These are terrifying sequences, and when they are cinematics they hold nothing back about how gruesome and painful such a demise is. In short, they still give plenty of reason to fear death.
There is only one highly notable case that I could find regarding an attempt to change our cultural interpretation of death. In 2014, the Morbid Anatomy Museum opened its doors to the public. This was founded by Joanna Ebenstein and Tracy Hurley Martin. Ebenstein, who had been amazed by how European cultures embraced death, had made a blog of the same name. With Ebenstein’s help, they opened the museum, and it enjoyed some slight success. However, after two and a half years, it was forced to close its doors due to increasing costs.
I had the pleasure recently of meeting Dr. Emily Mieras, Associate Professor of History and American Studies at Stetson University, to discuss the matter of death. Her room is much like some other offices at Stetson University, with multiple books scattered about, a table laid in the middle with four chairs, and a window to the outside opposite of the entrance. On her desk sit two computers.
When asked about death and American culture, her understanding of it aligned with what has been stated earlier. As we sat on that table on opposing ends, she also explained that science has led to a very different perspective on death in the industry. In her own words, “The other thing that’s happening at sort of the same time is that… scientists are starting to understand diseases better. I can’t remember when germ theory started… Scientists are better with illnesses now… I think, y’know, another thing that’s interesting in American culture is that with all the medical interventions is how life can be prolonged for a really long time.” In short, the rapid advance of medicine and the incredible abilities of modern hospitals to heal have further bolstered the fear and opposition we have towards death itself. We have taken a “cure-everything” stance to all ills. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with aiding the sick, it has gone beyond that and turned into another reason to be well and truly terrified of the end regardless of how it comes.
When I ask her how she views death, Dr. Mieras’s eyes seem to widen with surprise, almost as if I have asked a truly unexpected question. Her response follows.
“Well, that’s complicated. I think it depends, you know. Sometimes it seems too early or unjust in some way, like they get murdered. It seems so tragic and so unfair, but when people are older… My grandparents… They were older, they lived a full life. My grandparents dying wasn’t a tragedy, but it was sad, but it’s not like kids being murdered. I think that death is in terms of context being given.” In short, death comes down to context. The loss of the old due to finally living out their years is most certainly saddening, but it is natural. However, many other kinds of death are tragic, mainly when those who are young are taken from this world far too early. Dr. Mieras also believes religion could be a part of this, as it “has a lot to do with religion and how people incorporate their own faith into thinking about death.” The belief of Hell, a nightmare realm where the sinner is damned and tormented for eternity, could play a role in how us Americans fear death. The concept of Hell is one that is often used to make people behave righteously out of fear of eternal suffering. However, in other religions like Buddhism, the concept of reincarnation and Nirvana exist. To put it simply, one must reincarnate multiple times before finally accessing the Nirvana, a state of eternal bliss.
However, not everything is doom and gloom. In some cultures, death is nothing to be afraid of — in fact, the famous Latin American holiday of Dia De Los Muertos is well known for how it makes death something to be celebrated, and the dead are not to be mourned, but remembered with joy. The graves of the departed are decorated a few weeks before the holiday. The departed are welcomed back with an ofrenda (altar) to them, covered in their photos, favorite food, and even a sweet bread called pan de muerto. The famous sugar skulls are decorated to honor their ancestors. Further research into the topic truly shows that this isn’t even comparable to Halloween, to which it commonly is, and truly lacks anything resembling a dark tone beyond some mourning. The dead are not feared or regarded with sorrow and even depression. They are remembered and celebrated like celebrities, with slight mourning inevitably taking place. However, it is a positive time. Who wouldn’t want to be remembered during such a beautiful festival?
I feel that now is the time that I share my own views. I, personally, view death is a mixed matter. It’s comforting to imagine it as a place where we die and meet our loved ones, but the idea of it being something much grimmer — a true cessation of existence where there is literally nothing and you simply cease to be, never thinking, hearing, speaking, etc. again — is both haunting and has been the subject of many a spell of thought and unseen nightmare. It is one of the most terrifying things I have ever imagined, if not the most terrifying thing I have thought of. It’s dreadful to picture and imagine. In short, I tend to not fear death, but when my mind wanders here it leaves me truly terrified.
Overall, while death is certainly a terrifying and taboo topic, one of the only ways to get rid of our fear is to simply embrace it more. I do not speak of mocking Dia de los Muertos. I simply believe that it would best serve us to see death in a more positive light. Our paranoia of death hasn’t done anything to truly benefit society. It’s time to open our eyes and embrace the taboo of death as a fact of life.
