Forbidden Shopping
I am uncomfortable. Not because I have never been to a sex shop, but because this time I am actively attempting to find the “right” sex shop. Endless searches on my browser history of “sex shops near me” added to the phone calls I make to each one, and I can’t help but wonder, what if someone sees my history? What if someone looks over my shoulder and then goes to tell their friends what I am looking at? Then again, I remind myself I am not the only who worries about this problem. Right?
My search for sex shops finally ends when I discover Cupids Corner on US-92 in Debary, Florida. Oddly, it is open 11AM to 8PM everyday, except Friday. The store reminds me of any other mom and pop shop with its small rectangular shape and outdated facade. It sits in between a Winn Dixie and Bagel King-a prime location for shoppers.
Who runs Cupid’s Corner you might ask? A tall blonde cougar? A creepy old hippy who knew a guy that went to Woodstock? A young punk rock couple that likes to stick it to The Man? Standing around 5ft 10in with short grey hair, thin eyeglasses, a grayish t-shirt, khakis shorts, and chunky dad sneakers is Shaun. He reminds me of someone I’d see at a grocery store. I tell him I am from Stetson and he responds “Ah, my stepdaughter actually just got accepted into Stetson Law”. I almost forget I’m in a sex shop…
According to a recent article in Forbes, the sex toy industry stands at a $15 billion market segment, with projections that it will surpass $50 billion by 2020. What was supposedly a niche market where you had to go to the sleazy shop at the edge of town is now a booming industry rife with money making opportunities. Many believe we are near the tipping point where the sex industry will finally become accepted by society in the next decade or so. The popular movie Fifty Shades of Grey just followed up with their own line of products that include nipple chains, leather whips, silk ropes, and much more. They fly off the shelves. You can attend major sex expos all across the country, year round, with each one looking just as similar as if you went to a telecommunications expo.
So why do we run away as a society when it comes to sex? Why are we ok with talking about sex as a necessity for humankind to move on but not when we talk about sex for recreation? Sex can be seen from our advertisements all the way to our television screens, so how come we still view sex shops as taboo?
The inside reminds me of a rated R version of a karate studio: the front of the store being where parents bring their kids to check in, and the back being where the practice occurs, as all the mats and equipment are set out for the next class. The store is separated by a giant black curtain stretching from wall to wall, with the only entrance being a tiny walk-thru by the register with a piece of notebook paper reading “Must have ID to Enter.” Old navy-colored carpet covers the floor instead of white tile and the AC is being pumped so fast it creates a chilling sensation throughout the store. The only noise in the store is the whispers of a Spanish couple and a right at the front a BowFlex sits for sale for all the wrong reasons.
The front half includes lubricants, bachelorette party gags, sexy costumes for both men and women, cases of pipes and pieces for tobacco use only, and the almighty BowFlex workout machine. “What’s up with this BowFlex?” I ask Shaun. “Well some people are interested in that sort of thing. You would be surprised about how gym equipment is used. People have dirty minds.” We both laugh, except my laugh has a tinge of awkwardness.
I continue to parse the store until I lean up against one of the glass counters filled with pipes. “How did you decide to work at an adult store?” I ask. “My wife and I decided to get into it years ago. It’s just like any other normal business. I run a shop here and she runs one in Tampa,” Shaun tells me. I am curious to know more, but Shaun requests he’d rather not talk about his personal life. “How do your friends and family react when they discover where you work?” I ask, not really thinking if that was too personal to ask or not. Shaun crosses his arms and pauses for a second before he answers, “There’s always the more religious ones who have a problem with it but most of the time they do not care or judge. You’re always going to have people that strongly disagree with it but if it weren’t for sex we wouldn’t be here.”
Making my way past the black curtain to the back, I find myself in a mix between outdated and state-of-the-art merchandise. In the middle of the room are racks and racks of dirty DVDs, with every raunchy title ever imagined. The right wall consists of hanging leather harnesses and whips for BDSM. I ask Shaun what that stands for and he fires back laughingly, “That’s bondage, domination, submission, and masochism.” All I can respond is “Nice” as I try not to laugh back at how he responds so professionally. Walking to the back wall, I see books ranging from Kama Sutra to the kind of novels old ladies read with an off-brand Fabio on the cover. Next to them, I see the inflatable sex dolls. You can go for the regular one you see on TV advertisements, or you can choose from celebrities like Charlie Sheen, Donald Trump, and Hillary Clinton. “Great,” I think to myself, as I wonder why someone would ever want to have sex with a plastic recreation of an old politician. I finally make my way toward the actual sex toys on the left wall. Price tags ranging from $10 to $500, and merchandise to appeal to anyone under the sun.
I walk with Shaun back to the front of the store. I ask him to give one piece of advice to someone opposed to shopping at an adult store. He sits silent for a moment to formulate his answer and gives me this, “Don’t judge a book by its cover. Go to a couple different stores and find one you like or feel comfortable in. People think this industry is all about drugs and sex but in reality it’s really just normal people. In the end you might find something you or your partner would actually enjoy, there is nothing wrong about it. It is all up to what you are comfortable with.”
I make a lap around the front of the store and go to the back one last time out of curiosity. I find myself looking at all of the BDSM products longer than I should have. And then I remember at the very beginning, when I had my phone conversation with Shaun on coming in to debunk why sex shops are so taboo, and his response still sticks to me, “Of course. I’ve got nothing to hide here.” I can’t help but find the irony in his response.
