Why You Should Probably Start Taking Steroids
Go on and take a chance for once in your life!
Two decades of obsession with martial arts has yielded little fruit aside from an appreciation for the incredible complexity and adaptability of the human body, and the importance of maintaining the integrity of athletic competition. On the other hand, I am pushing 40 and have no intention of standing aside and letting the 15 year olds at my gym learn to kick my ass before I have a strapping son or suspiciously tall and strong daughter to to defend the family honor. With this in mind, I would like to explore the ethics of using performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs) to extend careers in professional sports. With the way kids are training these days, I will certainly be taking the plunge and pushing the plunger as soon as I get around to freezing enough of my sperm.
PEDs became a controversial topic in the world of professional sports from the moment communists first used them to win. On one hand, these drugs help athletes recover from injury and extend their careers by allowing them to perform at a higher level for longer. On the other hand, the use of PEDs can be seen as cheating, undermine the integrity of athletic competition, and promote the evils of a centrally planned economy by creating an uneven playing field for those who do not use them.
In fact, there is no such thing as a level playing field in sports, geopolitics, or any other form of competition. Every athlete has different physical attributes, training regimes, and injury histories, making it impossible to create a truly even playing field. The whole concept of a level playing field is, a farce.
This does not mean that we should turn a blind eye to the use of PEDs in sports. You have to look out for #1, even if you don’t have what it takes to come it first. While it may be tempting to use these drugs to extend our careers or gain an advantage over our competitors, we must consider the long-term effects of PED use on our health and the impact that it can have on the integrity of athletic competition. I don’t want to live in a world where becoming a champion is synonymous with the degrading ritual of lying about an open secret.
For athletes who are not competing and are simply looking to recover from injury or improve their performance, PEDs may be a sensible option. In these cases, it is important for athletes to be self-aware and consider the potential risks and benefits of PED use before making a decision.
Basically, the closer you are to death, and the less it matters whether you win or lose, the more inclined you should be to boost your performance through experimental and dangerous methods. Fortunately, older recreational athletes exemplify these characteristics by definition. Bret Weinstien once told me that by 50 the cancer that is going to kill you is already in the pipeline and whatever additional damage you do to your DNA is really more of a novelty.
In the case of testosterone replacement therapy (TRT), for example, many men over the age of 30 may experience a decline in testosterone levels, leading to decreased energy, muscle mass, and libido. For these individuals, TRT can be a safe and effective way to restore testosterone levels and improve their overall health and well-being. The improvement in mood alone is probably worth it and if you already have kids gonadal hyportrophy is more of a feature than a bug.
In conclusion, while the use of PEDs can be tempting for athletes looking to extend their careers or recover from injury, it is important to consider the long-term effects of these drugs on our health and the integrity of athletic competition. For athletes who are not competing, PEDs may be a viable option or even a no-brainer, but it is crucial to approach this decision with self-awareness and a full understanding of the potential risks and benefits.
Above all, if you happen to be competing in one of those sports where your competitors are already doing it, screw those guys and just go for it.
