Don’t let You be the reason you’re not getting what you want in life
I have a strong belief in my life.
Everything is negotiable.
Whether you are in a personal, academic or professional setting, there is always a possibility for you get what you want. The only thing you need is just that—you just have to ask.
That’s how I created my own customized academic curriculum, in spite of the requirements of my degree.
That’s how I got to work on exactly what I wanted at both my jobs.
That’s how I got to meet most of my previous colleagues, including the entire leadership and executive team, over coffee. This led me to being mentored by incredibly smart people.
That’s how I got a really cool VC to come to a pitching contest I organized after one of his talks at a Meetup panel.
Do I have a 100% success rate ? Hell no. That would be too easy.
I got denied letters of recommendation from professors.
I failed at a lot of interviews.
I asked my former CEO if I could attend one of his board meetings, to see how those goes. Apparently they’re not open to the public… Ha :)
I’ve been trying to get upgrades on flights, but haven’t pulled it off yet.
I asked to be sent to my company’s Hong Kong office, but didn’t need me there.
It’s scary to ask for what you want until you realize there’s nothing that can go wrong. If you are genuine, the very worst that can happen is getting a No. Period.
I honestly can’t remember one single time where someone got angry at me for asking.
And usually, people want to help, if they can. Having this mindset might sound naive, yet it has done nothing but serve me for as long as I can remember.
Plus, I’d rather feel silly than having to deal with the excruciating stomach lump of thinking — Damned, what if I had asked?
And guess what? Depending on the situation, getting a No doesn’t mean it’s over. You can ask several times. You can ask different people. You can ask in a different way.
I had an issue with my phone provider who tried to bill me 3 times my regular subscription because of some service content I had never heard of. I had to jump on the live chat 5 times and talk to 5 different people, telling the story over and over again, repeatedly asking to have the bill reduced to the right amount until someone resolved it.
I even paid less than I was supposed to. #winning
Of course, depending on the situation, one has to know when to stop—and yes, I’ve experienced feeling ashamed of not stopping soon enough. That limit will be different for each situation. That’s part of the practice. And sometimes, going a little over the limit is okay.
When I do feel like I did too much, I simply apologize. People are surprisingly receptive and forgiving when you are genuine.
It takes practice. Baby steps. But as often, the practice lies more in getting out of our own heads.
The next steps for me will be to practice job negotiation, following Heather Hund’s advice! Check out her great post about it !
