How I still stick with my single 2015 resolution
And how it changed my life.
Back in December 2014, I had a big realization about myself.
I realized how much I would get upset about little meaningless things.
I’d get annoyed at the supermarket when the line was crazy long.
I’d get annoyed with people upset me.
I would physically feel the negativity in my stomach, start puffing and rolling my eyes.
So as I was heading to Iceland with my best friend, I decided it was a good moment to test something new for the New Year’s resolutions. Enough of the “I’m going to lose 15kgs, start working out 8 days a week and eat nothing but spinach.” This time, my single resolution would be:
Take things with philosophy.
So what does that mean?
From then on, I would not let anything exterior bother my inner peace.
Whatever happens that is out of my control, I would let slide and accept. As Stephen Covey would put it, I became proactive rather than reactive with my response to exterior stimuli.
Why did this change my life?
I could not have chosen a better moment to start practicing taking things with philosophy.
The trip in Iceland was physically difficult, because I had lumbar pain and would struggle to move freely, to the extent that my friend had to help me put my socks on.
Turned out I had two herniated discs that pressured my sciatic nerve, and upon returning home, I literally could not walk, stand or sit.
After a few days, it became clear this wasn’t going to heal itself with painkillers and a couple of days off.
There I was, 20 years old. I’m going to be stuck in bed for months while my friends were going to Amsterdam, skiing, and being young.
That’s when I showed up for myself, and kept the promise I had made myself : take things with philosophy.
So I accepted the situation. There was nothing I could do. I had not taken care of my back, and had ignored the pain signals my body was sending me for months. So I just had to suck it up.
I realized that when your health fails you, there’s little else that matters. Getting stressed out over exams, homework, boys, gossip stories, whatever — it does not matter if you can’t get out of bed.
Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom — Viktor E. Frankl
So I decided that I would use all this free time for myself. I started reading a lot, took a Machine Learning online class. I had amazing friends who would come checking up on me every day, keep me company and would bring me groceries. Of course, my parents were just as incredible—as they came to spend time with me in France and take care of me.
This was a turning point for me. It was an extremely hard period, yet one during which I was incredibly happy.
Had I had a different mindset, I would probably have become depressed.
There was absolutely no sign that I would fully heal.
Sure, I was getting slowly better, but two months in, I hit a plateau that lasted for a few more months.
I could walk slowly, but was making no progress at the physio. The doctors explained that there wasn’t really a cure for this — it was a mechanical problem, so no amount of painkillers would tuck those discs back. And most of people who have this condition never go back to a normal life.
Turns out I did. Among other things—finding the right physio, stopping the painkiller craziness and taking extreme care of myself— I’m more than convinced that my positive and peaceful mindset was key in recovering fully in so many ways.
Since I’ve come back to normal, it’s been challenging to keep my cool all the time. But I try to keep it up, because I’ve seen how having a base of inner peace can let me stomach anything I go through.
