I’m not sure I’m smart enough

#7. An honest reflection

Today I received disappointing news about something I worked hard towards. This reminded me of past failures and made me start thinking… I often work hard but don’t always get the results I want.

I can spend time trying to assess whether I am smart enough to achieve what I want to. Inevitably, the conclusions are rarely satisfying — based on my feelings and the memories I recall, I either conclude that I am categorically not as smart as those I wish to emulate, or that I won’t know until I really try.

Often in life we want assurances that things will work out. We want to know that if we do X, Y and Z we will get the result we want. However, for anything meaningful this is not the case.

As demoralising as failure can be, we must pick ourselves up and keep trying. There’s no guarantee that things will work out but, as the cliché goes, it is always better to try and fail than not try.

Right now it doesn’t feel like this. It feels like I wasted time and effort. It hurts. But I’ll pick myself back up tomorrow and try again.

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