Autonomous Adulthood at the Expense of the Family Bond — Beginning Research via Facebook
There are two resources I have been really drawn to lately. I picked up a book from our school library called, “ Not Under My Roof” by Amy T. Schalet. It compares and contrasts the culture of the Netherlands with the United States. In the Netherlands, where teenage pregnancies are far less frequent than in the United States, parents aim above all for family cohesiveness, often permitting young couples to sleep together and providing them with contraceptives.
In the states, it is SO unheard of for teenagers to have sleepovers with their significant others. It is an unspoken rule that parents don’t talk to their children about sex, and if it is happening they don’t want to know about it or have it happen “under their roof.”
My capstone aims to improve communication between parents and their children. Sex education is taught through culture, and where do we interact with culture? Our families, our friends, social circles, the media, schools, etc. And it’s my presumption that despite this, most parents in the states believe their children learn everything they need in school. That they can avoid having any part in it out of fear of awkwardness. But what if parents viewed this channel of communication as a way to strengthen their bond with their children? Because it’s not just about sex, it’s about autonomy, knowing your boundaries, knowing how to respect other people’s boundaries. It’s also about talking about challenging or uncomfortable things with your family. Talking about your concerns and sharing stories. That connection is important.
I found an INCREDIBLE resource from Planned Parenthood that articulated this so perfectly:
Family communication about sexual issues can be a vehicle for shaping positive, affirming attitudes around sexuality, and it can help to reduce the consequences of sexual ignorance: embarrassment and discomfort, early sexual activity, unintended teenage pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, sexual abuse, and exploitation. These problems cost us dearly — both in human and economic terms.
In my last article, I thought I would take the majority of my content from the Dutch Life Laugh Love website, but this resource from Planned Parenthood is specifically aimed at parents and hits all the key points I envisioned.
I have also started a google and twitter survey. (See below) I’ve already had some incredible responses. People have been responding very well. I’ve already received ample anecdotal responses. Being able to connect through the sharing of stories and experiences is so precious to me. Vulnerability is one of the most valuable tools we have. I originally heard that from my professor Dr. Jane Sojka (thank you!). Will update with the final results next week!
