content proposition — trial 02

Context |

ASK is a microsite created for nonbiological friends of YA with AS so that they (a) do not feel alone in their struggles and (b) are better equip to personably, empathetically communicate with them.

Below is the proposed content for the microsite, as it is now. This content is continuously evolving and was taken (and modified) from this link: https://www.healthline.com/health/autism/dear-neurotypical-guide-to-autism#6.

For reference, the desired outcomes are (immediate) education & awareness and (intermediate) the audience will no longer feel isolated and will become better equip to communicate with the target demographic in a calm, compassionate and personable manner (as opposed to speaking from a frustrated, callous position).

Content |

Asperger’s Syndrome (AS) is a neurological disorder characterized by repetitive behavior, difficulty communicating and problems establishing and maintaining relationships; it is on the milder end of the Autism Spectrum (ASDs)

an Aspie is someone who has AS or is on the spectrum

1. Be Nice

We have all had an encounter with an Aspie that made us at least the slightest bit uncomfortable in one way or another; in situations like these, a little kindness can go a looong way. Their behavior may baffle you, but believe me, you baffle them too.

When we try to assume the mental capacity of someone with AS, it only serves to demonstrate our lack of understanding of their condition. This, in turn, initiates resentment and causes Aspie’s to feel annoyed because it invalidates their person.

Think about it; you are basically saying “Why can’t you do [this] now when you could do it yesterday?” (cough cough* don’t say this). It is encounters like this that force Aspie’s into a defensive motive where in they feel like they have to explain themselves.

There are HUGE differences between your mind and an Aspie’s. You should avoid questioning their capabilities and, instead, focus on avenues of optimism and reassurance. A compliment or encouraging comment can set the entire framework for a lasting relationship.

2. Be Patient

Someone with AS can’t always dictate to you how they are feeling, simply because they don’t always have the words to express their feelings or emotions. If you are patient with them, you will be able to tell what they need more quickly because you won’t be panicked, anxious or annoyed with trying to identify the problem. When in doubt, take a breath.

Your patience is of paramount importance when you realize that the only way to tell how they are feeling is to listen to them very carefully and to watch them for unusual movements during stressful occasions.

You shouldn’t allow yourself to feel anxious or to become upset when they are experiencing symptoms of their condition. This is not your doing. It is better for all parties involved if you are calm and collected, practicing patience with their communication skills — or lack thereof.

3. Listen Carefully

Individuals with AS process communication differently than us; their brains circuit information solely on word processing and do not pick up on subtle facial cues. This allows for avenues of misinterpretation, as an Aspie may semantically misunderstand the meaning of the words that you use– especially your use of homophones and inflection.

Additionally, they have increased difficulty with sarcasm. Their knowledge of ‘sarcasm’ is on a learning basis, rather than via an intuitive nature as we understand it. A great example of this is how Arianne’s mother retained the habit of saying “thank you” when she (Arianne) didn’t do what was asked of her. Therefore, on an occasion where she did do what was asked of her (in this case, cleaning her room) and her mother said “thanks!” Arianne did not understand that her mother was being earnest and replied, “but I did clean my room!” See, she thought, through her learned understanding of her mother’s use of ‘thank you’ that her mother was being sarcastic.

This is where your listening helps all parties involved because you will likely notice the misunderstanding before the they do. In such an instance, you should always clarify what you are trying to say if their responses do not match your intended meaning. Arianne’s mom did this and, in turn, Arianne learned what sarcasm was.

An Aspie may also understand something differently because their emotional audio processing tends to get slightly jumbled when they are trying to hear. They are not generally very aquatinted with or ‘good’ at polite conversation (i.e. small talk), so getting personal is okay. They enjoy the intimate connection (just like everyone else).

4. Pay Attention

You may notice someone with AS repeating a consistent action, this is meant for self-soothing and is referred to as stimming. If you see an Aspie doing this, they are likely experiencing an excess of emotion and/or overwhelm of sensory stimuli. It isn’t always negative, but it isn’t always good either. It just is.

Most people with AS have free floating physical anxiety even when they are happy, stimming is one avenue for them to keep it under control. If you notice that they are moving around more than usual, go ahead and ask if they need anything. Another helpful tip would be to lower the lights and rid the area of any excess noise; these are additional stimuli that could be elevating their anxiety.

5. Instruct us — but nicely

If someone with AS is offending you, tell them. Individuals with AS may experience avalanche-style misunderstandings, this hinders the formation and maintenance of lasting relationships and can make for a VERY long and lonely life. Our intervention in simple day-to-day instances can prevent this.

For an Aspie, cultivating social skills is imperative to bridging the gap of misunderstandings. They aren’t born with these skills and some of them weren’t properly educated on social etiquette or coping mechanisms. Not knowing such information instinctively makes forming connections more difficult.

When they are processing social cues, they very likely might miss something and accidentally say something that comes out as stupid, mean or offensive. Without those visible emotional cues to guide their response (which they do not pick up on), they are left with just words, sometimes making for an awkward experience on your end.

To demonstrate the difficulties this imposes, try closing your eyes the next time somebody is talking to you. It will give you an idea of how much they are missing out on.

It is understood that over half of all communication is nonverbal. If you are conversing with an Aspie, it is your responsibility to make sure you are clear in your meaning. Letting them know if you are offended will get you an apology from them a heck of a lot faster than making an ‘offended face.’

The bottom line

As a neurotypical, you form conclusions based on subtle emotional cues given by those who you are with. If you notice that the person you are talking to isn’t doing that, you may be talking to someone with AS.

Practicing the above tips can help you prepare for complicated social situations when you interact with someone with AS. Help them out and clarify yourself if they seem confused. By being mindful, in the moment, you will feel more comfortable communicating with people on the spectrum.

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what I still need…

• more personable stories about example interactions of encounters with individuals with AS (working on a list of ‘interview-esque’ questions for this purpose to get the conversation started — might send out a survey via social media)
• to shorten/condense the content so that the stories can speak more freely (if/when they do come in) AND so that the visuals can tell a story, too
• to create a visual language that coincides with the content (to come, as the content is still evolving). some ideas include using representational body parts for each touchpoint in the style of a blind contour to be used as ‘title slides’ for each of the touch points. ideas, such as:
  - feet standing on a line for ‘the bottom line’
  - an outreached hand for ‘be nice’
  - folded hands for ‘be patient’
  - a hand cupping an ear for ‘listen carefully’
  - eyes squinting for ‘pay attention’
  - a pointing finger for ‘instruct’