2021 Championship Week Preview
Well League, the 2021 season is coming to an end. Media hour last night said it better than I could in this intro to the preview so I without over ado:
2021 Championship Game: Dead Pigeon vs Chicago Gunslingers
Stakes: The 2021 Title and $500 ($600 to winner, $100 to loser)
What it Means for Pigeon
After losing the 2020 title to the upstart Icarus after spending the entire year as favorite, Pigeon finds the roles swapped in 2021. There’s no shortage of stakes here for a would-be first time champion (who trails his biggest rival 1–0 in this most important SSStat) because even if his road to get here was possibly the weakest in fantasy football history, he gets a chance to erase all that with a win over powerhouse Guns.
This has clearly been a more healthy approach for Pigeon - he even seems more calm than his self-dubbed “Zen Pigeon” run of 2018. Will that restraint endure another championship game loss or, an even bigger shock, a first SSS title?
What it Means for Guns
Guns has been here before and while he already got that SSS title monkey off his back in 2016, he is still aiming to have his # of SSS titles (currently 1) be higher than his # of SSSackos (also 1) and a win here would obviously do that.
Additionally, he seems to think his “mortgage the future” strategy needs validation (since it didn’t work out in 2017/18?) and while I had assumed the MLB and NBA had already studied that topic in great depth, I guess science can never be too sure.
What To Expect
Guns is projected to win by 40 which is … the biggest projected spread in SSS history. Yes you heard that right- even 2019 Pl0w, who beat Yumy by 135 in the championship game, was only projected to win by 36. So on one hand we expect a Blow(s)out, but you can never be too careful with fantasy. Bird in the hand is better than two in the bush Guns, we’ve been over this.
Guns by 20.
2021 Li Cup: The White Mamba vs Bedwetters
Stakes: $0 and an all-expense-not-paid trip to Waffle House for 24 hours minus the # of waffles eaten.
What it Means for Bedwetters
Piss 2021 has been a real yellow slip n slide and now he’s nearing the end of the mat where there’s a nice soft landing on an enormous scrotum.
It’s a little ironic that Jeudy and the Peeboys would get into ass-eating (a piss-coined term, yes?) when he needs them most, but I’m not quite sure it would’ve saved him anyway. Chris Johnson would be hard to get ahold but once connected and caught up, he’d be ashamed.
What it Means for Mamba
Though much more unlikely, the ramifications of turning a once proud, white franchise into a brownface sacko would be vast: shame, humiliation, local embarrassment, agitation, perspiration, social cancellation, probably kicked out of his house, and worst of all: the removal of any doubt that he’s the little brother in “The Universe” rivalry with Pl0W.
What to Expect (When You’re Expecting Sacko):
With 3 starters going Sunday night, this one projects to have a lot of Slack attention, especially if Mamba is at risk. It’s been a tale of two streams this year for Piss - putting up 130 at times and going for 65 most other times. We think for the first time in SSS history, Piss will ultimately shit the bed.
3rd Place Game: ICARUS: Reign of Chaos vs PL0W
Stakes: $15 ($60 vs $45) and a place on the podium
What it Means for ICARUS
Two podium trips in two years is a pretty nice run for any SSS team and it appears Icarus is gunning for it. He’ll have all his emotions going full throttle in this one.
What it Means for Pl0W
With 4 titles under his belt, something tell me plow isn’t at Icarus-levels of excitement here. But as much as he likes to indicate otherwise, he hates losing and maybe some “that 4-championship run was just a fluke” doubt will start to creep in after a loss here.
What to Expect
Icarus has the far stronger team and has been putting up points basically every week. Icarus by 25.
5th Place Game (cont.): Schrodinger’s Cat vs Boston Clamjammers
Score: Chod leads by 28 in this two-week matchup
Stakes: $15 AND the ability to win more than the Toilet Bowl champ (winner gets $35, loser gets $25, TB Champ gets $25)
What it Means for CHOD
Chod is definitely this year’s “should’ve been in the title game” team and that means something even if he’d be a strong underdog. There’s clearly some regret, some hatred, and some frustration with his team (and their QBs) but that’s to be expected. On the bright side, he’s got one of the most powerful dynasty squads in the league and should be back for another roll of the dice in ’22. So since I forgot to answer the question, I guess this game means very little to chod.
What it Means for JAMM
Nobody really believed in Jamm from the beginning and I’d like to officially congratulate everybody for being right. 5th vs 6th is all $$ for him.
What to Expect
Chod sadly shows off some of that championship caliber firepower and beats Jamm handily by 45.
7th Place Game (cont.): Revenge of the Sea Hags vs Fawkes F.F.C.
Score: Hags leads by 49 in this two-week matchup
Stakes: $10 ($25 vs $15) and rivalry bragging rights
What it Means for FAWX
Congrats to FAWX on a surprisingly successful year, something that Daddy could never pull off, and for earning the title of “People’s Champion” (ok so this is why he’s so mad at Pigeon for claiming it) after knocking hags out in week 14. Win or lose here, he’s happy, but a 50 point comeback in week 17 to secure 7th would be v nice.
What it Means for Hags
Poor sad hags. Regrets aside, he was pretty good this year and should be next year. And that’s all that counts.
What to Expect
Hags will hold extend his lead with a 15 point week 17 win and win by 60.
9th Place Game: AI Takeover vs Cannibals
Stakes: $10 ($10 vs $0)
What it Means for YUMY
Most of the meaning here was secured last week in not having to compete for the Waffle House Blues. Yumy sat most of his team one week (and some of his team another) to get here so while he likes $10 he probably doesn’t care much.
What it Means for ROBO
Robo likes 9th place a lot more than 10th. 10th is bottom 3. 9th is middle of the pack. He got 10th last year so two years of bottom 3? He can’t want that and we assume (with little inside info) that he doesn’t. So he’s trying here.
What to Expect
Robo by 15.
