After 520 Hours of Smash Ultimate…
I’m still terrible
520 hours, 21 days, 31200 minutes. No matter how you put it, it was a lot of time to invest in playing Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. When I bought the game on release, I didn’t exactly think to myself “let’s spend nearly a month of my limited time here on Earth playing this game.” And after I have done so, I wondered what I have to show for it, and was it worth it?
Still terrible
My skill in Smash Ultimate has lodged itself into an uncomfortable position. If I play against my friend (whose favourite character is Luigi because of his slapstick aesthetic) neither of us will have fun. Sure, they might be in awe of my combos once or twice, but will quickly notice that they are being tossed around like a chew toy (and this isn’t much fun). I will then look for ways to go easy on them without it feeling too demeaning for either party.
Having said that, my skill isn’t good enough to go up against more seasoned players. Heck, I can’t even consistently win in Elite Smash. For the uninitiated, Elite Smash is where the most feral savages like myself play using our friend’s mobile hotspot. If the Smash Ultimate professional scene is like a boxing ring, Elite Smash is like a bar fight in a ghetto. Smashed beer bottles and makeshift knives replace shiny boxing gloves; whatever you need to shank that bastard who disrespected your mother.
As you might expect, the game lags horrifically in this scenario. In fact, it lags to the point where it resembles a PowerPoint slide show — all the precision, elegance, and nuance of Smash Ultimate are chucked out the window, replaced by the filthiest possible strategies. Projectile camping, suck and cuck, Up B out of shield spamming; you name it, we did it.
520 hours later, and someone who just learned how to hold down the B button defeats me. These are the moments that prompt me to revaluate my life.
Did I have fun?
I suppose this is the part where I should tell you that I had fun at the end of the day and it’s all worthwhile because that’s what video games are for. Well, here it is: I did have fun, but in this case, fun felt like a traumatized kid standing stiff as a board behind his drunken cousin named Rage.
Although the times I raged are sparse, those few instances in which I did were horrific and overshadowed the fun I had. I never knew I was capable of such raw hatred for a faceless person that I will never meet. I knew nothing about this person, but in my mind, they were oh so proud of themselves — probably smirking and prancing around, celebrating their victory. In those moments, I wished all the evil in this world to be visited upon this individual.
Once I settled down, though — and realised I had blown a fuse over a game rated for audiences 10 and above — an entirely new range of emotions emerged. Embarrassment. Self-loathing. And some kind of brand new emotion that is a mix between desperation and hopelessness.
Should I keep on playing?
After reading about my ranting and raving on the pain and suffering Smash Ultimate caused me, you might expect me to explain why I’m quitting the game for good. But you’d be mistaken. I’m really just here to get these words out of my system.
I might be stuck in limbo between being an amateur player and a professional — that spot where I’m soundly beating all of my friends, yet finding it difficult to complete with the hardcore players. And sure, that can be an extremely frustrating position. But in the end, I love Smash Ultimate and I’m driven to continue striving for perfection…as painful as that might sometimes be.
