RETROSPECTIVE
My Time as CEO of Hell
Dungeon Keeper mastered the (admittedly niche) “villain management” genre
Back in primary school, I was a curious lad. I fit in better with the endless shelves of the library than with the bullies who served fists for lunch. Over the summers, I had to stay back since my mom used to teach at the same convent school. The library soon became an escape from Abu Dhabi’s scorching heat and let me hunt for exotic books and other timeless trinkets. Dusty boxes stood out from the wooden shelves laden with texts of all kinds. While most of them must have been donations, I cannot be certain of the source.
Nonetheless, I dug in as though it were a continental buffet. Beneath some second-hand novels, I struck gold. A video game that I had never heard of. With teeth the size of elephant tusks, the demon on the cover didn’t deter me. And if the nun (who happened to be at the library at the time) had any thoughts on the matter, it didn’t show. She simply smiled, and let me keep the demonic item.
Dungeon Keeper spared no time in diving into the business end of things. The intro cinematic has a beheading sequence. Good thing I held back from testing it out in the computer lab.
So began my dungeoneering expedition.
Sleep is due to me… and I have a dream to live
This line was stashed within the executable code of the game by Jonty Barnes, one of Dungeon Keeper’s designers. It perfectly captures what Bullfrog Productions was gunning for. A twisted fantasy brought to life. In Dungeon Keeper, you play as a green disembodied hand who floats above your very own dungeon. You start off with a couple of imps and a Dungeon Heart that must be protected at all costs.
The game effectively lets you play as a god, albeit a devious one. Dungeon Keeper mixes several genres to great effect, from city-building to strategy. Lairs house your minions, hatcheries feed them and a treasury keeps them from grumbling. You’ll need to take control of a portal before bringing in new minions. These range from Trolls to Dragons and Bile Demons, hulking red masses with morningstars attached to their heads. Your main objective doesn’t really change from mission to mission. A wandering band of heroes led by the Lord of the Land will eventually find their way into your dungeon.
Leave none to tell the tale.
The quality of this game is incredible. From powerful voice-acting to downright wicked humor, Dungeon Keeper seems to get better with time. Richard Ridings acts as a mentor and does a great job in seasoning the game with humorous nuggets. Heck, he even randomly sneezes during the game to keep you on edge.
Or tells you that your minions demand chocolate.
Slapstick humor
Speaking of tongue-in-cheek humor, your disembodied hand can slap minions to get them to work, at the expense of a sliver of health. This helps you round up lazing imps to get back to strengthening walls or mining gold. You can even pick them up (eight at a time) and drop them within your territory to get them to do what you want. But you can’t just go about slapping everyone you see.
Bile Demons merely wobble away after a bit of punishment. Not before he serves you the finger, of course. On the other end of the dark spectrum, we have Dark Mistresses. The sounds they make as they are whipped in the torture chamber aren’t something a 7-year-old ought to hear, let alone write a review about over a decade later.
Let’s just say they got a kick out of it.
Before you think that Dungeon Keeper reinforces abusive stereotypes, I believe Peter Molyneux and his band of developers knew of the interpretations this gesture could have before implementing it. I think it is merely a game mechanic that gives players a sense of immersion and authority over their lively minions. Dungeon Keeper has a dark sense of humor, which is okay. And 7-year-old me didn’t pay too much heed to the ramifications a game that doesn’t take itself seriously would have on expressions of violence.
Back to the Trolls and Dark Mistresses.
Gotta catch em’ all
Dungeon Keeper offers an incredible variety of minions, imbued with unique personalities and abilities. Some are better suited to certain tasks than others and learning these quirks can make the difference between victory and human Knights whittling down your Dungeon Heart. The pathfinding ability of your minions puts new RTS games to shame. Molyneux stated that it was the largest piece of code in the game. In levels where you face off against a rival dungeon keeper, you’ll need to use all the traps and doors at your disposal to keep their monsters at bay. But keeping your minions primed for battle is no simple task.
Some creatures host bitter rivalries that might end up in fights within your own domain if you aren’t too careful. Spiders detest giant Flies and Vampires bare their fangs if forced to share a lair with a fireball-hurling Warlock. The latter can incite revolts if you don’t pay them enough. Dark Mistresses are leather-clad vixens who train relentlessly with your units. Orcs are natural leaders who take up a position at guard posts to keep watch. Demon Spawn can train and become Dragons, equipped with healing spells and a fiery breath. And they all line up at your Treasury Room at “Payday.”
The best part? You can possess each of them.
Taking control of a minion literally changes the game. Things flip into a first-person perspective, allowing you to use spells and abilities as you see fit. From the fish-eyes of the Demon Spawn or the fireballs you can toss as a Warlock, each unit is unique, from their dialogue to their mannerisms. You can double-time it as an Imp to bust gold deposits or carve walls like it’s nothing. The audio effects go from cool to brilliant as they become directional, assaulting your left and right eardrums based on the source of the sound. The Possession spell is a godsend in a fight, particularly if you plan on implementing battle tactics in real-time. You even get to possess the granddad of them all, the demon on the cover of the box. The psychotic killing machine inspired by the ex-girlfriend of Dungeon Keeper’s lead artist.
The Horned Reaper.
Room for more
Your imps can be tasked with clearing sections of the dungeon so that you have an opening to create rooms that let you store gold or develop your minions even further. Hatcheries are your food supply. Watch as a Warlock uses a fireball to conjure up a delightful meal. Portals spew forth minions based on how suited your domain is for their nefarious ways. For instance, libraries can tempt Warlocks to join your cause. Workshops let you craft devious snares and doors to protect your kingdom from invaders, while guard posts let you station minions at strategic defense positions.
The training room is where your boys become men and mistresses… you get the idea. At the cost of gold, minions become stronger and gain new skills. The torture chamber lets you improve the productivity of your minions or convert enemy soldiers to your side with imaginative ways to torture them, from a wooden stake to the heart or a whip.
They also keep your Dark Mistresses happy. Enough said.
Worried that you can’t afford the upkeep of your newly converted human minions? Leave them to rot in the prison and they’ll emerge as skeletons, undead beings with zero upkeep. Now that’s business management done right.
A whole new world
Dungeon Keeper’s missions consist of desperate heroes doing what heroes do best: fail as they try to keep evil at bay. They’ll tunnel through rock and stone to get to you, so you’d better keep your walls reinforced to gate them out. Or lock yourself in. Eventually, you’ll have to face them if you wish to continue your march of terror. And when your minions duke it out against men, dwarves, and fairies, tact is key.
Once you’re done with the pesky invaders, don’t just leave their corpses to rot. Either cart them off to your graveyard to lure a Vampire or toss them in a prison to create Skeletons out of them. Add a chicken into a prison and you now have a prisoner-fueled spectacle worthy of a battle royale game. Neat.
The sounds and visuals of this 1997 game are insane. While the textures are rather dated, they’re still pretty tidy and don’t get in the way of wreaking havoc. Tossing a fireball in a straight line lights up surrounding walls as it passes by them. It all adds up to an experience that is fascinating, albeit in a twisted way. Each character responds differently to the situation at hand, be it the heat of battle or a dungeon chore. Roars and screams assault your ears as armor clanks against swords and magic rips mortals apart. All in a level that builds out instead of building up like traditional RTS endeavors. It’s an experience that remains fresh to this day. It’s a shame that EA butchered the franchise after its second outing.
Who knew that villain management could be so much fun?
A word of caution: do not play the mobile game. Please. Play this instead.
