Two Point Hospital: Finding Escapism During a Global Pandemic
Ahead of the game’s Jumbo Edition releasing on March 5th, here’s a look at why you should consider checking in
A little backstory for the uninitiated. As a spiritual successor to the 1997 favorite Theme Hospital, Two Point Hospital is a management sim in the style of Sim City or Rollercoaster Tycoon, and the debut release from Two Point Studios — a team lead by key developers of Bullfrog’s 1997 classic. Released in 2018 on PC and Mac, the title currently sits at 83% on Metacritic, having received high praise for its appealing visual design, vibrant personality, and surprising depth. All the warm, comforting nostalgia of a 90s throwback, with everything you’d expect of a modern experience.
Two Point Pedigree
In 2020 the game was ported to PS4, Xbox One, and Nintendo Switch as Two Point Hospital: Console Edition, which bundled the base game with two expansion packs and featured a new interface and control scheme, carefully redesigned for consoles. Both the console and PC versions are also available for no extra charge as part of Xbox Game Pass.
With the upcoming release of Two Point Hospital: Jumbo Edition on March 5th, consoles players will finally have access to two further expansion packs (which have already been available on PC for a while now), offering a total of six extra hospitals, new illnesses and cures, and a bevy of fresh items with which to decorate your hospitals. The extra contents in Jumbo Edition will also be available as DLC to owners of the original console release, making this the perfect time to jump in, design a hospital and manage, laugh and groan your way through Two Point County.
Humorous Humerus
“VIP arriving. Please prioritize their amusement over patient well-being,” your hospital receptionist announces, her sing-song voice addressing staff over the PA system. Moments later, a message for the patients: “We’re sorry for the litter… that you dropped on our floor.” Her tone perfectly captures all the sass, mundanity, hints of exhaustion, and mild disdain you might expect to hear echoing through the corridors of a real-life hospital and is deftly blended with Two Point Hospital’s signature humour. Best described as dry Britishisms and Dad-jokes, it weaves through every facet of the game and is essential to its charm.
Front and centre to this are the many wonderful, wacky illnesses your hospitals will need to cater for. A patient arrives in your hospital with a literal light bulb for a head, visits one of your GPs (probably named something silly like Agatha Codpiece, or Boris Muesli), and is diagnosed with “Lightheadedness”. The treatment? A specialty room called a De Luxe Clinic which houses a comically enormous, fully animated contraption that unscrews the offending bulb, 3D prints a new head and plops it squarely onto the patient’s neck. When a patient strolls in covered with small rodents, you’ll have to treat them for “Animal Magnetism”. Wrapped head to toe in bandages? Sounds like a case of Premature Mummification and for that, you’ll need a Cryptology Clinic. Each of the game’s specialty clinics are fully animated and their treatments are a joy to watch.
Of course, not every affliction comes with an easy visual cue. Many patients appear completely normal from the outside, but are silently suffering a case of afflictions like “Verbal Diarrhea”, “Mood Poisoning”, or even “Placid Reflux”. It’s not all cheeky puns and silly animations though — beneath Two Point Hospital’s comedic veneer lies a smart management simulator, with a well-paced campaign that gradually unfolds its many illnesses, cures, and systems with a gentle difficulty curve.
Serious Business
Hogsport, Two Point Hospital’s tutorial level, introduces the basics of designing your first hospital and making decisions that will help grow your organisation into a healthcare giant. Place a reception desk to greet patients, design and build a GPs Office to diagnose, and a Pharmacy to cure. Large, beautifully decorated rooms filled with luxury items will cost more and take up extra space, but make staff happy. Your doctors, nurses, janitors, and assistants are chosen from a roster of quirky applicants, each with their own personality traits and qualifications. Do you hire the grumpy doctor with special GP qualifications or the affable junior with no experience? The qualified practitioner will give a more accurate diagnosis, but his sour disposition may reduce patient happiness, and that could hurt your hospital’s reputation. Of course, you can train the junior to specialise as a GP, or even a psychiatrist if your hospital needs it, but doing so will cost time and money.
Decisions like these pop up at a steady pace and are at the core of achieving the objectives needed to progress in Two Point Hospital‘s addictive campaign. Each location presents a set of goals based on things like cure success rate and hospital value, and meeting these targets will earn your hospital one star from a potential three-star rating. Only one star is needed to unlock more locations, where new illnesses, treatments, and other challenges await. You can stick around to expand your hospital and try to earn those extra stars, or move onto the next hospital and come back later.
Saving Lives, Killing Time
Before you know it, hours will have passed as your budding organisation spreads to multiple locations across Two Point County and the frankly excellent, catchy elevator music will have worked its way well into your head. The endearingly silly, light-hearted tone compliments the calming loop of designing a hospital, curing its patients, training your staff, and improving equipment, offering perfect escapism and respectable but low-stress challenge.
Whether you’re a long-time resident of Two Point County or returning for the new content, Two Point Hospital may just offer the distracting giggles needed in these grim times.
