Fantastic Foursome

Uncovering Suzie Fantastic’s dirty little secrets may cost me my life. I became aware of the danger I was in a few hours after confessing my tryst with Mrs. Invisible in a phone call to a friend. A call came from an anonymous number. There was heavy breathing and then a crackling voice.

“You say anything about Suzie-Cakes in public and I will smash you into smithereens jelly,” the voice said

There’s only one person who would call Mrs. Invisible “Suzie-Cakes,” and that’s the Rock.

We all knew the Rock had it hard for Suzie, even before the cosmic curse turned Ben Grimm into 500 pounds of orange granite. Right then I knew I was the Fantastic’s Public Enemy Number One.

Only one thing could save me. I had to bring Mrs. Invisible’s infidelities to light.

Dirty from the Inside Out

By now, we all know the sad story that gave us the Fantastics. Dr. Richard Fantastic took his three friends into space and they were cosmically radiated with new powers that fit their personalities. Richard, or Mr. Elastic, acquired limitless elasticity — a real cuck from the start. Jimmy Fantastic, or Torch-man, got a hot body to match his hot head. We know how it turned out for rock-for-brains Ben. And for Suzie, it was the most fitting power of invisibility.

Suzie had always played a behind-the-scenes role holding an unlikely band of friends together. The pressures on her became more intense when they became one of the world’s most powerful team of superheroes. But she wasn’t just a member of the team. She was a wife, a sister, a secret crush, and — after many trials — a mother.

The Fantastics have done whatever it takes to maintain the image of Suzie as a woman content in her roles and her responsibilities. They are guardians of a lie that threatens to tear them apart. The institution — its people, wealth, and technologies — is being used in a futile attempt to contain the cravings of a woman who will never be satisfied.

Now I realize she tried to warn me. Her sloppy lips — covered in hot pink lipstick that had been smudged across her face by multiple cocks — started to mumble as the women in white dragged me away. “Don’t believe what you see,” she said. “Just close your eyes and feel the enemy.”

“What do you mean, Suzie?” I said, screaming and shouting. “What’s going to happen?” But as I was dragged out of her view I could see she had fallen asleep.

Suzie Revealed

Suzie was a sex symbol from the beginning, even in that first polyester jumpsuit that Reader’s Digest complained was “much too clingy for a lady.” Suzie was a pioneer in helping the public come to grips with their obsession with the super bodies of superheroes, men and women alike.

But Suzie blazed a trail that went out of control shortly after the Infinity Battle, unveiling a new suit that got more attention than the black suit her husband designed for the Human Spider. Richard had no hand in Suzie’s new suit — he was shocked like the rest of us. Most of the media called it “depraved.” Only Hustler Magazine gave it a positive review. It looked like a one-piece swimsuit that cut high up past her waistline, exposed her navel before that was a thing, and revealed her “underboob” through a cutout of the number “4” on her chest.

She apparently stole the paper-thin material from Richard’s R&D shop. It could stop bullets but couldn’t conceal her piercing nipples. The suit was prone to wardrobe malfunctions and yet Suzie never bothered to go invisible for the Paparazzi.

I still remember the special edition of The Post, “No Unseeing Suzie,” and its color pictures of Suzie’s nip slips, wedgies, and cameltoe. By the time I was done with the 8-page spread its pages were sticky and my cock was dirtied with newsprint. The edition sold out before noon. It was not reprinted and after the editor broke his leg — “a trip down the stairs” — The Post never again printed an unflattering picture of Suzie.

The suit was retired soon after and Suzie was sent onto Dr. Phil to put a human face on the official storyline that her suit was an aftereffect of being demon-possessed by a force known as Malice. Suzie further humiliated herself by dispelling rumors that she was having an affair with the Submariner— yeah, that Spock-looking creep that lives with the fishes. She gave a weirdly specific confession that “I did not French kiss that man, Namor.”

It was all a lie.

Not even our strongest heroes can always admit their inner demons are their own.

Still, Suzie had a right to be angry. The liberation movement had passed her over as she was tending to her duties as a housewife and a heroine. She had missed her sexual revolution. And she was ready to blow.

Sizing Me Up

Suzie went back to her normal uniform — still sexy hot but kid-friendly. The chatter about her behavior didn’t die down but went underground. A grainy video exploded on Pornhub with users swearing it was Suzie at the center of a circle jerk. The video was lost in what scientists called a rare solar flare that destroyed all of Pornhub’s servers while the rest of the server farm remained unscathed.

Around that time, I found a strange posting on Craigslist. In hindsight, I should have read it with a little more intrigue:

Supermom with a flexible husband and a sex drive that’s out of this world seeks the company of ordinary men with extraordinary talents. Come to the corner of Park and East 40th Street. We are watching.

I’d found a lot of crazy shit on Craigslist over the years, and was always a sucker for some husband looking to pawn off his hotwife. The address was a short walk for me, right around the corner from Freedom Plaza, so I decided to give it a try. I didn’t fully appreciate the strangeness of the instructions — usually I would just send a dick pic to a Hotmail address — until a self-driving white van pulled up and an Alexa-like voice instructed me to get in. The cabin’s windows were covered and I was driven around — literally, I could tell we were going in circles — for hours.

I was helped out of the van by two women dressed in white with surgeon’s masks and white hats with red crosses. They had me sign a 34-page disclaimer form and gave me a routine medical inspection, ending with a blood sample. An assistant placed the vile of my blood in a vacuum tube that sucked it up into the ceiling. A light overhead immediately glowed green.

“What does that mean?” I asked.

“You’re clean,” said the assistant.

The assistant had me strip naked and asked me a mixture of questions about my personality traits, sexual history, and fetishes. The other assistant put her forearm across my neck and surprised me with a shot in my biceps. I immediately felt more energy but my head became woozy as my cock hardened like it was the Rock’s. They measured the length and girth of my dick with laser precision and made me stand in a room of cameras. I heard the clicks of a thousand shutters circling around me with my hands held over my head.

The assistant handed me my clothes and was trying to speak through her surgeon’s mask. After the third try, she pulled it down in exasperation. “Do you want a pill to soften you up or do you want a hand job?” she said.

“Um, a hand job,” I said.

The Waiting Game

I woke up in my apartment not knowing how I got back. My body felt different. I felt stronger. Masturbating several times a day couldn’t corral my libido.

Richard must really love his wife. This kind of product could make billions — “Cosmic Viagra,” I called it — but it was reserved exclusively for Suzie’s bulls.

The effect went away after about a week, and I’d almost forgotten about the ordeal when a few months later the Fantastics returned from one of those lost-in-space trips that the media had been freaking out about. Apparently, Suzie had pulled off some real heroics and got some good features in the newspapers, even the sports section. “Like Brady, Mrs. Fantastic is 40 and at the Top of Her Game,” said one headline

Their return home was followed by an anonymous phone call with instructions for catching the white van. I wasn’t too surprised when I arrived in the same observation room to find two other guys — I had been asked multiple questions about group sex.

They were tall but it was their bulk that stood out. Their chests were big and their abs were tight as hell. “Luis,” as he introduced himself, looked just like Namor but without the pointy ears or the douchey hairline.

Eugene was muscular as hell and had the same physique as the Black Panther.

Luis looked me over and started to laugh. “Holy shit, man,” he said. “You look like Wolverine.”

The assistants gave each of us got a shot and we were directed through a door that shot up 25 degrees in temperature. We were steam-cleaned and then dried off with Hurricane-like winds. There was a bathroom on the other side with boxer briefs waiting for each of us, a comb and gel to tame our wild hair, and some space-age mouthwash that — with one shot — felt like a trip to the dentist. Our cocks were all rock hard by this point, and I had to really squeeze them into the boxer briefs.

Luis stood at an industrial door, where we presumed we would meet Suzie on the other side. “Should we start off with a massage?” he said, and we shrugged in agreement.

The door led to a large white room with gray carpets and fluorescent lighting. There were some empty lockers, a water cooler, and a random assortment of furniture. The blonde woman was lost in the corner until her voice centered us. “I’m over here,” she said.

Banging Suzie

We approached her slowly. A fluffy comforter was pulled back on a bed big enough for the Rock. She was stretched out on glittering silver sheets.

I’d never seen a hero up close, and at first I thought we were duped — not that I wouldn’t fuck a cosplayer dressed as Mrs. Fantasic. But beauty shines through more clearly when unfiltered.

Her wavy hair was cut above her delicate shoulders and it wasn’t as blonde as I thought. It had some dirtiness to it and even some gray hairs. She had an athletic body and great legs that were covered in white fishnet that went all the way under her Fantastic-Four-blue boy shorts. A matching blue, loosely hanging tank top revealed breasts that were smaller than I anticipated. There must have been some extra padding in her suit.

“We want to give you a massage,” said Luis. “Can we do that?”

Suzie broke a smile that was slightly seductive but she seemed a little nervous — she hadn’t done this in a while, I thought. “Sure,” she said.

She turned over and her boy shorts were filled up by a little, round ass that looked like it was carved out of butter.

Luis massaged her neck and shoulder, Eugene worked her lower back, and I snatched her hot legs — which were dangling nervously — out of the air. She was breathing deep and things seemed to be going well when suddenly she pulled herself away. “No offense guys but we have an AI masseuse that’s got MRI in her eyes and infrared in her hands,” she said. “That’s not why I went through all this trouble to bring you here.“

She looked up at Luis and pulled him down to her, sticking her tongue into his mouth. Then she pulled in Eugene in for a kiss. I started kissing her lower back and the top of her shorts.

When she pulled Luis and Eugene’s shorts down to get a taste of their cocks, I felt emboldened to take off her boy shorts. I took her fishnet by my teeth and tore through it for a taste of her pussy.

“Is that okay?” I said.

“Mmmmmmmmmm,” she said, staying focused on her dicks.

Her dirty blonde bush was thick in a small spot above her clit but otherwise I was licking baby bare skin. In this dirty act, everything about her was so pure, down to her privates. God’s honest truth, she tasted like a forbidden pink fruit that made my tongue tingle, as if Richard had designed a bath bomb to make her pussy explode with flavor.

After a few minutes, she turned over and spread open her pink hole for me, keeping her hands and tongue tied to Luis and Eugene. I got so lost sticking my tongue into her as deep as it could reach that I didn’t notice that Eugene and Luis had crawled up by her side.

“Bite them,” she said.

I looked up to see Luis and Eugene sucking on her tits like two nursing twins. My head was centered between her hands, which were jerking their big cocks into the air.

The thought of making Suzie come first — sure, I had some help — still gives me goosebumps. And I know she wasn’t faking it. In our first detection of her powers, Suzie’s invisibility started flickering on and off, as if she had to concentrate to stay visible — “Yes, boys!” she screamed. “Oh fuck, yes.”

She never needed more than a minute or so to start banging again. She fucked us with a restless passion. Our physical prowess notwithstanding, I gather we were selected for our calm, even compliant personalities. She didn’t hesitate to give us instructions, begging for a little less control: “pull my hair,” “give me four fingers,” “spank me.”

When she said, “Fuck me with that big dick,” we all knew who she talking about. Eugene turned Suzie on her side to come in from behind. His dark skin glistened on the first long slide out of her pussy. Luis and I hovered over her and let her play with our cocks.

Eugene fucked her till she had her second orgasm. She started rubbing my cock against Luis’ when she could no longer focus and started to flicker again, just for a few milliseconds.

Luis, the smallest, was the first invited to fuck her in the ass. She giggled as he struggled to get inside her — even after half a bottle of lube. He was ready to give up when she made a butt plug go visible in her ass. Its top was encrusted with a large diamond that bedazzled in the fluorescent lights as she squeezed it out. The bulb was bigger than Luis’s head so he slid in with ease.

After only a few minutes, Luis was about to come so she asked me to take his place. I’m embarrassed to say that after about 90 seconds in that tight ass of hers I was ready to blow. “Eugene!” I said.

Eugene needed more lube to fit inside her. He was gentle and slow to pick up the pace so he was lasting longer as a result. “Someone fuck my pussy,” she begged. Luis deftly climbed underneath her, and Eugene let up so Luis could find his way into her crowded hole. I stood at her side to give her something to suck on.

Her ability to come seemed endless, but I knew she was approaching her limits when she whimpered to Luis and Eugene to “cum inside me.” She was sucking my cock and looking up at me when I noticed there was an icy blue fire inside her eyes — an undocumented symptom of her space accident — and then she disappeared. Eugene and Luis looked like they were bumping and rubbing their compressed cocks together in midair.

“Oh fuck,” said Luis, who was the first to cum. His cum shot up and splattered the invisible contours of her inner chamber. It then seemed like it was washing away when Suzie screamed out of thin air for him to pull out. As soon as he came out of her a cloud of liquid splashed down over his cock. “Holy shit!” said Eugene, doing his best to keep his cock in Suzie’s invisible ass as liquids flew.

A voice like an angel was screaming so loud I half-expected a visit from Jimmy or the Rock. But not Mr. Fantastic — somewhere, I imagined Richard was stretching out his pencil dick as long as it could go while watching his wife get gang-banged on closed-circuit television.

When the gushing stopped, Eugene thrust himself into her as deep as he could go. He wanted to keep going but his cum shot out quickly. It had nowhere to go in her tight little hole, collecting around his head.

Suzie pulled away from Eugene and became visible almost immediately.

“You guys can leave now,” she said, shivering on a soaking bed. “But not you. You haven’t come yet.”

Solo with Suzie

I put the covers over Suzie and thought she had fallen asleep. I was trying to find the right words to ask her a question without sounding too juvenile — “Can you make your clothes invisible while staying visible yourself?” — when I heard her whisper: “There’s something for you in the nightstand.”

I rolled to the side of the bed and found a green piece of kingly fabric in a drawer. I picked it up and it was wrapped around something heavy. The robe was a robe concealing a mask. It was Dr. Doom’s mask, or at least an exact replica.

“Put them on,” she said.

I threw the robe on and the mask latched onto my face like a magnet. I’m sure I looked ridiculous with my dick sticking out beyond robe but Suzie seemed impressed. I stuck my chest out and planted my fists on my hips with my elbows out wide, making her giggle. Then she spread her legs wide for me.

I wasted no time, squeezing my dick into her loose pussy for one last bang. “Fuck me, Doctor,” she said.

The blue fire had returned to her eyes. She had her hands on my robe and I was shocked at her strength as she pulled me towards her, encouraging me to go deeper and harder. “Fuck me, Doctor,” she said. “Deeper, Doom. Yes, Doom, yes!”

She was flickering again but then disappeared completely. I looked down to seem my compressed dick splashing inside a contained puddle of her love juice. I picked up the pace in a sprint to the finish, and then the strangest thing happened. I too was gone. I could feel the mask and the robe on me. I could feel the flapping of the loose skin of her but cheeks getting pounded. I could hear myself breathing. But we were vanished in thin air and fucking.

I felt like I came forever.

Ruined by the Fantastics

We went visible again and I was still catching my breath when I saw the assistants in white coming across the room for me. They dragged me away before I could give Suzie a kiss. Over the weeks that followed, I was still a happy man.

But the moment started fading from memory, like the most splendid dream blinded by the sunlight. Her warning — “don’t believe what you see” — started to haunt me.

I checked Craigslist religiously for MW4M hookups. I went to the same street corner in search of the white van. I hovered around Freedom Plaza until security evicted me. I got booted from Facebook and Twitter for leaving messages to every username and handle associated with Suzie and the Fantastics.

I left a piece of myself with Suzie that night. And as far as I can tell, I no longer exist to her.

I admit there was some madness that set in. The coherence of my mind became mangled like a complete album reduced into fragments of a song:

Your love is a secret that’s been passed around

They look for you but your spirit’s in the air

Baby, light my way

I entered your temple, I bent the knee

I disappeared in you, you disappeared from me

Baby, light my way

You squeezed my handle, blew out the candle

You kissed my lips, broke my heart

Baby, you’re nowhere

I’m prepared for the public to turn against me. People will fault me for exposing Suzie with such salacious details. But my lawyer says the more specific I am the more I can prove in court, even post-posthumously.

My feud is not with Suzie. She has grown accustomed to a life of transparency — this will be better for her. My feud is with those around her who claim to love her but have kept her beauty hidden like a screaming flower in the closet.

It’s time for the world to be taken by the real Suzie Fantasitc.



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