Where to go?
I would love to see the number of internet searches I have ran in the last week and the number of tabs I have opened. I have no doubt it is way into the hundreds. Of course, we looked into the UK first. The clear issue with surrogacy here is that the Surrogate Mother (SM) is the legal birth mother so the parents have no legal rights, it is surrogacy through trust and friendship. Everything may go perfectly, but there would always be a chance that she could choose to keep the baby and that would be it. Surrogacy agreements are not enforceable in the UK. I am not a risk taker by nature, and this is no exception!
We then searched for countries where surrogacy is legally enforced and regulated. The US, Canada, Georgia and Ukraine were the countries that appeared to be our options.
The US was the first port of call but price wise, at least $100,000, and could rise to $150,000. Considering we would like to eventually have two children that was just not option. Canada was similar and the legal terms were not strong enough for us. Where to next? We wanted somewhere where we were familiar with the country, culture and where we could feel comfortable. I knew the US, I knew Canada, I spoke to the language and I had friends and family of those nationalities.
We then came upon Ukraine. The amount of clinics and agencies was overwhelming. What was the difference between them? What was a guaranteed program vs a VIP program? There was something unsettling about choosing an economy package for a little human, our future child and this is the first time we realised “are we buying a baby?” It all seemed so commercialised and I can see where the moral and ethical conversations can come from.
I wanted to look into these ethical issues more. I read interviews with surrogates, white papers, watched some debates and made up my own mind. The main thing I wanted to do was to choose the best clinic and get to meet with our donor and surrogate to understand their motivations for surrogacy. I was ok with our decision and that was what mattered.
I then saw a post on Fertility Friends which was discussing the differences between Ukraine and Georgia and it made us sway more towards Georgia because of the following;
- Georgia is a more westernised country. We would be living there for at least the first 3 months while our childs status was legally confirmed and we wanted to enjoy where we were living. From other couples, it seemed to be a country easy to live in and adjust to.
- There were less legal hoops to jump through and we could supply the initial paperwork digitally so it would be one less trip to take. Given the lack of flights from London to Tbilsi, the cost of them and time off work this was important. We would also receive the birth certificate, with our names on it, within 24 hours. That would mean we could start the process of the UK paperwork pretty much straight away.
- I also read many reviews of how easy it was to deal with the people in Georgia, how friendly and helpful they are and also the responsiveness of one or two clinics in particular.
So today ended with two decisions. I created a Fertilityfriends account (I am still to be approved!) and I think it is going to be a lifesaver and we have decided to go Georgia for treatment.
