The Stages of Sexual Grooming vs. Experience
My father sexually groomed me, and this is how my experience lines up with theory
I was four years old in my oldest memory of sexual contact. I didn’t realize the extent of the abuse I suffered because my abuser was sexually grooming me. My abuser was my father.
Grooming is the process by which an offender draws a victim into a sexual relationship and maintains that relationship in secrecy. The shrouding of the relationship is an essential feature of grooming.
- Dr. Michael Welner
Sexual grooming is a gradual process. It takes a long time to cultivate a victim. The hope is that the sexually groomed child will feel that they are entering into a consensual sexual relationship.
Dr. Welner wrote an article¹ that described six stages of sexual grooming. The following is how the six stages lined up with my first-hand experience as a sexually groomed child.
Stage 1: Targeting a victim
The first thing an offender does is target their victim. More often than not, the victim isn’t far from home. Many choose their prey within their walls as it’s easier to sneak around that way.
