Understanding and Managing Relationship Anxiety Through Body Awareness
The underlying fear related to a relationship that matters to many of us is losing someone special.
It is a natural fear that gets out of control, causing damage to our emotional well-being and the dynamics of relations. Traditional advice for dealing with these fears concentrates on mental strategies such as talking to ourselves rationally or distracting ourselves. However, another, more fundamentally transformational way of viewing and dealing with this fear is by tuning into our bodies to understand and process the fear.
The Physical Side of Fear
Fear is not just an emotion — it has a physical side. How we respond to the perception of threat to our relationship varies in many ways, switching on the ‘fight or flight’ state. In this way, such a response can evoke various physical sensations when observed mindfully and may share insights into our emotional state to better manage anxiety.
Heartbeat
The first sign of fear is the pounding or racing of the heartbeat on a subconscious level. It is the physical response of the nervous system to a perceived threat.
Stomach
Many people describe feeling fear in their stomachs, experiencing “butterflies,” a sinking feeling, or even nausea. This “gut reaction” is a primal response to anxiety.
Throat
Fear can also manifest as a sensation in the throat, such as tightness or difficulty swallowing. This can symbolize the stifling of our voices or emotions in the face of fear.
Muscles
The body’s preparation for a fight or flight response often leads to muscle tension, particularly in the shoulders, neck, or back. This tension is a physical embodiment of the psychological stress we’re under.
Skin
Fear could also produce sweating or goosebumps, with the faster heartbeat representing yet another symptom of the effects of adrenaline in the fight or flight response.
Mindfulness: A Path Through Fear
The advice to “feel it in your body” is about adopting a mindful approach to our fears. We engage in observation and acknowledgment without judgment by directing our full attention to the physical sensations associated with fear. This practice can be counterintuitive: our instinct might be to avoid or suppress these uncomfortable sensations. However, mindful observation creates a space for us to experience our emotions fully without being overwhelmed.
When we feel our fear, we notice where it resides in our bodies and how it affects us physically, then we begin to understand that these sensations are transient. With time and practice, focusing attentively on these physical manifestations of fear can lead to a reduction in their intensity, helping us to manage our anxiety more effectively.
Practical Steps for Cultivating Body Awareness
Breathing Exercises
When you notice fear’s physical signs, take a moment to breathe deeply. Focus on your breath as it moves in and out of your body, helping to calm your nervous system.
Body Scanning
Regularly practice body scanning, a mindfulness exercise where you pay attention to each part of your body, noting any sensations without judgment. This practice can heighten your awareness of where you hold stress and fear in your body.
Journaling
After observing your physical sensations, journaling about the experience can provide insights into the triggers of your fear and how it manifests in your body.
Seek Support
Sometimes, sharing your experiences with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist can provide comfort and further insights into managing your fears.
Fear in relationships is a universal experience, yet we can learn to navigate these emotions with grace and resilience by listening to our bodies. Remember, the goal is not to eliminate fear but to understand its message and learn to coexist. We can deepen our connections with ourselves and others by transforming our relationship with fear through mindfulness and body awareness.
In embracing our body’s signals, we find a powerful ally in our journey toward emotional balance and well-being.
@garba_tanimu on X (Twitter)
