A Grey Zone: Half White Half Indian

My national-ethnic identity has two sides: while I was born and raised in the United States in Colorado, my father’s side of the family is South Indian while my mom’s side are German and Irish. Growing up, it never really crossed my mind how I was not the typical kid in Colorado. As I got over however, I became more aware that ethnically, I was in fact atypical.

Personally, I felt that the box’s I would check for national-ethnic identity were confusing as a younger child. While India is in fact part of the broader Asia’s, its somewhat removed as its own subcontinent. I did not feel like I was Asian myself; always saying I was Indian, not explicitly say Asian.

From the opposite lens, while I knew I was Indian, I felt that I didn’t really fit in with other Indian families I knew. Being half white half Indian was this grey zone between both, as I was clearly not full white and at the same time completely removed from my family’s traditional Indian culture.

This was largely due to my father’s upbringing as an immigrant to the United States. Immigrating at the age of five, my father, his brother, and parents moved to Lincoln, Nebraska. Back in the early 70s, this was not the most racially inclusive time. Schools told my grandparents to only speak English with my dad and uncle, to better help them assimilate into the “American world” that they now lived in. Subconsciously, I think my father tried to forget that he was Indian at all, the only tell being his skin color.

In connection to the experiences of “new Germans”, I believe that immigrating at such a young age gave my father a better, but somewhat blissfully ignorant experience in comparison. It was fascinating to hear about the “new Germans’” experiences, both the positives and negatives. I myself do not relate directly to any of them, but having grown up with my father and grandparents close by, I feel that there is a lot of cross over. I would be curious to hear from the newest immigrants to Germany what their experiences have been thus far.

Auf Wiedersehen und alles Gute!

Max Rajendran