LISTEN WITH YOUR HEART

Sometimes in life we need someone to be nonjudgmental, kind, loving and empathetic. When someone ‘holds space’ for us it can be incredibly profound, especially when we are dealing with emotional pain such as grief, loss, unresolved trauma and change.

It’s about listening with your heart. It’s about caring deeply and being present while your loved one leans into their pain and let’s go. It’s about listening with compassion and kindness to understand and not just reply. It’s about the person being able to just feel whatever they are feeling. It’s about sitting with the person during the tough stuff without judging, changing or doing anything. It’s not about making their problem/hardship your own. It’s about truly supporting someone at their own time and pace.

It is not about ‘fixing’ people! I know myself that when my children are hurting I immediately want to fix everything for them. I forget that even though it might make me feel better, my loved ones can still be left feeling powerless, uncertain and hurting because they are not needing ‘fixed’. They just need time to feel how they feel, make sense of what is happening and go through the pain, in order to come out the other side.

Holding space is not just applied to our loved ones or the people we care about. Do you remember a time when someone sitting next to you on the bus/train/plane shared their story of grief/loss/change and you listened with your heart without judging them or trying to ‘fix’ them? That is holding space.

It’s not about being extraordinary. It’s about being patient, empathetic, kind and congruent. It’s about taking the time to care.

As I always say to my darling daughters…if you can be anything…be kind.

**The image above is of a short poem that I wrote about holding space. xxx