Alex Cross [2013]

Somehow, Tyler Perry had slipped by my radar. I had no idea who he was and I wish it’d stayed that way.

Gormless doesn’t quite cut it and I’m afraid there is the feeling that I’m doing the word a injustice.

Roll it around your mouth — now try use it in a sentence — “That is one gormless motherfucker right there.”

Morgan Freeman used to play James Patterson’s ‘Alex Cross’. We had him for two movies — they were pretty good — I’d recommend them.

So good — I’d completely repressed the fact that they were the same character and a friend had to slow my ranting down to tell me.

With a vague post lobotomy smirk on Tyler Perry’s face throughout the movie . It plays a bit like a joke or a sketch, like ‘The Other Guys’ except no punchline comes. It’s a straight action cop drama. The laughter gradually trails away when you realise this.

The acting fits from groan inducing bad to laughing with incredulity at how bad it is.

I hope whomever the people behind this owe money to — find them and prevent any type of a sequel.

A good night of torture and seething self hatred might be to start off with Alex Cross then watch ‘Playing For Keeps’.

Originally published at 04/11/2013