Things I’ve learned from struggling with Japanese
A few tips for those self-studying the language.
I decided to learn Japanese for the same reason many people study a new language: a relationship. My partner is Japanese, and while he and his family speak English fluently, I felt like I should learn their native language. The decision didn’t seem too farfetched for me. I’m one-hundred-percent a language nerd and already knew how to speak Mandarin Chinese, which shares its characters with Japanese. “How hard could it be?” I naively wondered as I purchased a textbook.
The answer was: very. After memorizing the two syllabaries, I was confronted with syntax nearly-opposite from English, conjugation based on the formality of speech, and tongue-tying phonetic combinations (such as atatakakatta, “was warm”). Even though I share a home with a native Japanese speaker, it was difficult to practice together. There were definitely days where I felt like quitting.
Luckily, not only have I kept going, but I’ve acquired new skills. Because of the gulf between Japanese and English, I was forced to step outside of my comfort zone to progress. For those studying Japanese on their own or outside of Japan, I’m happy to share with you what I’ve learned.
Tip #1: Embrace Not Understanding Anything
One of the most apparent difficulties of learning Japanese is that it’s so disparate from English. When I practiced Spanish or Italian with native speakers in the past, I could relax a bit and let my ears passively catch keywords. Not so with Japanese.
For the first three months that I independently studied the language, I only understood and could produce a few set phrases. It was so different from English that even many of the cognates sounded unrecognizable (e.g., makudonarudo = “McDonald’s”). Because of this, I thought I wasn’t making headway with my studies, which was quite demotivating.
Luckily, my partner helped me realize that the main problem wasn’t with me, but with my expectations. I couldn’t treat learning Japanese like learning Italian because there was no common language family to lean on for guidance. Almost everything with Japanese was new, and that required a different mindset.
I started to listen to more Japanese podcasts and YouTube videos that had both English and Japanese subtitles. Instead of trying to comprehend every word or deconstruct sentences to figure out their grammar, I just listened — sometimes playing the same media more than once. Amazingly, there would be details I would pick up intuitively. For instance, I learned ええっと (eetto, “um”) and なるほど (naruhodo, “I see,” or “so that’s it”) almost instantly, both of which are high-frequency words in Japanese conversations. Now, when I speak with my tutor or my partner I can produce those words naturally, which helps flesh out my communication. It surprised me how quickly I committed those words and their usage to memory, but it shouldn’t have since I was no longer focusing on a million things at once.
It’s okay if you understand very little Japanese for months — or even years — of your studies. There are many new things to learn, especially if you’re not already familiar with kanji. If you’re struggling with motivation, I recommend you try to recalibrate your time expectations for achieving proficiency. I think that simple change can go a long way in helping to retain long-term motivation.
Tip #2: Discovery Learning > Memorization
I touched on this in my previous section but I’ve found that learning through discovery, observation, and application has been vastly more beneficial than rote memorization. This lesson was especially difficult for me to internalize since I have a bias toward memorization instilled in me by my education. And don’t get me wrong: repetition is still important (see the next tip), but when I think about my results in Japanese thus far, discovery learning has been the driving force.
Instead of trying to fit everything together like a puzzle, I focused on picking up blocks of language and listening for context. It was relatively easy to identify repeated phrases and then contextualize them in everyday conversation. This was how I learned to use sayings like しょうがない (shōganai, “it can’t be helped”), which is more frequently used in Japanese than in English. I also picked up on other subtleties of the language, such as the phrase “to take medicine” in Japanese is 薬を飲む (kusuri-wo nomu, “to drink medicine”).
Japanese television and YouTube content have additionally boosted my proficiency. For example, I have learned when to speak formally and when it’s okay to be informal through observing interactions on TV. Levels of formality are baked into the Japanese language, and its proper usage is vital for fluency. When I’ve visited Japan before, I struggled with knowing when it was appropriate to use Keigo, such as when I first met my partner’s siblings. The concept was too abstract for me until I watched more Japanese media.
I’d recommend checking out shows like Terrace House or Midnight Diner, which are both conversation-heavy. An interesting podcast is Bilingual News, where the hosts speak both Japanese and English.
Also, a word of caution: I would not recommend using anime for discovery learning, or for learning Japanese in general. I have a soft spot for anime, but I’ve been told by multiple sources (including my partner) that the cadence, vocabulary, and behavior seen in anime can be quite different from everyday Japanese. As a result, using anime speech can make your spoken Japanese sound peculiar.
Tip #3: Use Anki Every Day
I know I just said that discovery learning is a better practice than memorization, but I should clarify my position a bit further. Discovery learning is better for initial exposure and for picking up on usages, while memorization is still important for retention.
A powerful platform I’ve used to memorize Japanese vocabulary and sayings is Anki, the flashcard application. Anki, which means “memorization” in Japanese, allows you to create highly-customizable decks of flashcards with a built-in time interval system that helps you revisit words you frequently forget.
Once I learn a new word or expression in Japanese, I save it in Anki. I then ask a native speaker (usually my partner) to record the pronunciation so I have audio with the card. If you don’t have access to a native speaker, don’t worry — there are many pre-made Anki vocabulary decks with audio samples of the vocabulary.
I specifically recommend Anki because of its flexibility. I’m a visual learner, so it helps me to conceptualize words beyond their spelling or pronunciation. With Anki, I can insert images into my flashcards so I have visuals alongside the sounds and translations. Personally, I know that I do a better job of remembering the vocabulary with pictures.
Tip #4: Find a study buddy or tutor
In hindsight, one of the best decisions I made was to find someone with whom I could regularly practice Japanese. And it may surprise you to learn it was not my partner, as he’s not as interested in languages as I am. In my case, this person was a Japanese tutor.
Depending on your situation, finding a native speaker to practice with can be tricky. Maybe you don’t know anyone who speaks Japanese, or you aren’t in an environment where you can easily meet new people. If that’s the case, then I’ve got two resources for you:
Preply — this is the primary platform I’ve used for learning Japanese and I swear by it. You can connect with tutors from around the world to learn a language (or other skills). I’ve enjoyed the one-on-one experience, with the additional benefits of having a schedule and expectations to keep me on course. My tutor is also a fantastic teacher — he’s extremely knowledgeable, encouraging, and has helped me become confident in speaking Japanese. Bear in mind that Preply is not a free option, so this may not be for everyone. Prices vary depending on the tutor.
MyLanguageExchange — I’ve not used this resource to learn Japanese, but it was one of the first tools I used to learn other languages. This platform has been around for quite a while and is a great way to make penpal friends from around the world. Communication over this platform is text-based rather than spoken and geared toward a cultural exchange, which is a great way for you to both learn about another culture and share your own life experiences. This offers more privacy than Preply; however, MyLanguageExchange does not offer spoken practice.
Conclusion
If you’ve also struggled with learning Japanese, I hope my tips have helped. There is certainly no panacea for the language’s difficulty. Even with all my efforts, I’ve progressed more slowly with Japanese than any other language I’ve studied before; but in spite of that, I have had a lot of fun with it.
Japanese is amazing! There is an ocean of subtleties, history, and traditions to find, and I encourage anyone who is feeling burned out or is thinking about quitting to try shaking things up. A change of approach can go a long way.
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